The smell of ̶c̶h̶e̶e̶s̶e̶ fear!

So...driving to my destiny at Stanthorpe Cheese this morning I think I would have been more at ease if I were going to do a bungee jump or leap out of a plane...but I wasn't. I was going to use a till, perhaps a coffee machine and wax lyrical about cheese!I don't know what it says about me but the first thing I did was make sure that there was enough loo roll in the toilets. I wiped the tables outside and then was asked to sweep the shop. I couldn't even do that properly...it wasn't exactly a brush, more of a bright blue fluffy thing but I was using it like a brush and had to be given a lesson on how to use it. You don't sweep with fluffy things, you swish and swipe and it stays on the floor...so now we both know.A customer walked in at 9.45 and we don't open until 10.00.None of the other staff said anything so I said a cheery "Good morning" and the customer walked out again. It was a good start.I don't think there was a moment all day when there was not a customer in the shop...and Sundays are supposed to be quiet.Emma is in charge while the boss, Karen is away on holiday and I started off on the till with Emma watching me.The till scares me to death. One press of the wrong button and it is unforgiving and records your mistake for posterity and by all accounts there appears no simple or easy way to correct it without causing people to frown and silently gnash their teeth."Karen (the boss) likes us to chat to the customers, ask them where they are from, if they have far to go, that sort of thing" said Emma.Heck! It was all I could do to just concentrate on the till...but I had a go.Up steps a customer and after processing her purchases I smile and say"Have you far to go?"...as I bag up her cheeses.She looks at me uneasily and slightly affronted and just says "No."I felt I was doing so well......NOT!As it got busier I found myself alone. I looked up and there was a queue of about 5 people waiting to pay for their items and I got into a flap and made a mistake, forgetting to press the 'cheese'button after the amount and started to input the next amount making the total suddenly jump from $13 to $133! I had to search out Emma to rescue me. After about three more mistakes and three more Emma rescues I somehow found myself not at the till anymore. I cannot remember if it was because I went off to attend to another task of my own volition or whether I was asked but I had very little till interaction for the day after that Georgia showed me how to plate up a 'Ploughman's lunch'...I was allowed to cut the eggs in half...I was so proud. They looked magnificent.I did some table clearing and some dishwasher loading. I could hear a bell pinging in the background somewhere but didn't know what it was. I was drying some dishes and Emma appeared saying"Did you hear the bell?""Yes, I did" I smiled."Well, it means can you please stop what you are doing and come and assist us up at the counter.""Oh, sorry," I said "Nobody told me about that."It was busy again and I found myself at the counter cutting cheeses for customers to try.'Oh heck!' I thought I better do some patter..."Would you like to try our cheeses. There are tooth picks here for you to try them if you like. Our cheeses are made here from the milk from our Jersey Cows. If you start here this cheese is the mildest and the flavours gradually get stronger. This is our 'Thulimbah' named after this area and it is soft and buttery. This next one is our 'Bastard Tait' named after a friend of the boss. I am not sure if they are still friends after she named this cheese though."I was sent to clean the microwaves. I made some milkshakes, cleared and wiped some more tables. It was all non stop. Lunches are supposed to finish at 2.30 but a man arrived who had ordered lunches earlier by phone and who was running behind schedule and he wanted two ploughman's lunches at 2.45. Poor Georgia had to get all the stuff out after tidying it away, but she had the 'egg master' to assist her.I was sent home at 3.00. I had worked 5 hours...it felt like so much longer."Can you do next Sunday?" asked Emma." I can" I said."I won't be here," she said. I visibly winced. I need Emma. I have confidence in her ability to help me.It was still busy."How will you cope?" I said looking around."We'll cope," she said.I drove away. My head was all over the place. I can't say the day was 'fun'. It was mostly stressful.'Oh heck! Which side of the road should I be driving on?' I thought.I couldn't remember at all...for about half a minute and then I realised I was on the right side...well, not actually the right side...I was driving on the left side but that was right. If you see what I mean.Back home I needed to watch the sunset to calm my nerves.One day down and already I feel like I need a holiday!

One man went to mow...again!

So for the past two days I have been outside mowing. Most people with space the size of ours have a ride on mower but we just have Dulcie's old clapped out petrol lawnmower. It is definitely on it's last legs and is very temperamental. I don't know how many times I have removed, cleaned and replaced the spark plug to coax it back into life after it coughed and spluttered to a halt but finally...I have practically done all that I set out to do.

Brexit!

So...I am trying to arrange to cast my vote in the upcoming referendum on whether Britain should leave or stay in the E.U.. My first attempt failed because they said that my date of birth and national insurance number did not match and following my second attempt I was told"On checking on your registration applications we are unable to find you both on the electoral register here in Eden on the date stated as leaving the UK and at the address given."I tried to ring Caroline, the woman who had emailed me but the number she provided did not work and when I rang Eden District Council the woman I spoke to was most unhelpful, and didn't know where Caroline was or when she would be back and it would seem that there was nobody else available with whom I was able to discuss the matter with.I emailed Caroline and she is away until Monday...having a long weekend away?In the meantime time is running out for me to get all this sorted!

Becoming a 'Jersey Girl'.

So...yesterday I went to work with Will.We had an early start but as a concession to me we didn't get up until 4.45 am!I cannot remember the last time I was up before the sun but it has been awhile. So, why? You may ask.Well, I am to become a 'Jersey Girl', if only temporarily for a month or so. 'Jersey Girls' is the cafe and shop at Stanthorpe Cheese, where you can taste and buy the cheese Will makes and also have a Ploughman's Lunch or cheesecake if you so desire.The owners have gone away for a month and I will be just filling in at weekends to cover their absence. I went yesterday to see what it was like and try and get upto speed on the patter and  tasks I may be called upon to perform.Will and I got there at about 6.00 am just as the Sun was coming up. I helped him with his cheese making at first until the shop opened at 10.00.I thought it was a busy day but it is apparently busier at weekends! (Eek!) I learned how to make milkshakes, and began to learn to use the coffee machine. Oh heck! How can I remember it all, latte, flat white, long black, cappuccino, espresso?Even worse was the till! I used it once but had someone looking over my shoulder. The till scares me to death!One of the first customers in looked at me strangely and then said,"I know you, you're Mr Allen!""I am" I said, it was the mum of one of the children in the class I was teaching yesterday. Actually the mum of the boy who has separation anxiety."Oh, I wish you were at school today, " she said, "Mrs Green is off again.""I'm learning how to be a 'Jersey Girl' " I said "so that I can help out at weekends."I don't know how I am going to remember everything, what to say about the cheeses let alone answer customers questions.One customer asked "What is the difference between a double and a triple brie?" Thankfully they did not ask me for if they had I would have probably just ducked down behind the counter and hid.I was much happier cleaning tables, taking coffees and milk shakes out to people and washing up and loading the dishwasher...but I won't be able to do that all the time.I start properly on Saturday...I am utterly terrified!

Hope comes late!

So...I was woken by my phone ringing at 6.45 am."Are you free to do a relief day at Stanthorpe State Primary today?"I spoke before I really came to my senses..."Yes," I said."It's a Y1/Y2 class, (it was Toerag's and Fidget's class) and it is an 8.45 start."...and they hung up.I then came to my senses....'What was I doing?!'It was not what I had expected from today and I hadn't a clue what I was going to do. I normally have a bit more time to get used to the idea, put my arm floats on and paddle out a bit deeper rather than be thrown straight in at the deep end.The phone rang again."Oh, I forgot to say the planning will be at the office.""Thank you," I said.The planning was at the office when I arrived an hour before they start paying me. There were even worksheets printed out.The planning looked straight forward but the afternoon session was free for me to do my own thing..."We are doing a bit of visual art this term. Something to with shadows or shapes and bright colours. Feel free to be creative."I knew just the thing!I met Dusan for the first time. He has always been off on my previous visits recovering from an operation. His Dad wheeled him in, before school started, in his wheelchair and sat him at his desk. I introduced myself and Dusan showed me the scar on his leg where he had had his operation. Dad said that he had done too much walking at school yesterday and wanted him to use his chair at breaktimes and not the special walker which he used in class. It was fine by me. Dad left."How was your day yesterday?" asked Dusan, making polite conversation."Good" I said, "How was yours?""Oh, not bad," he said.Toerag didn't turn up at roll call and there was no Hope...but then Hope arrived late. I was expecting Toerag to turn up late too but he didn't...the day was looking up.Fidget was there of course, sporting a new short haircut. In fact, there were a few short haircuts about and I soon learned that the school had 'visitors' (head lice) from a note that Fidget handed to me from his mother saying that she had checked his hair and he was clear...he was almost clear of having any hair actually so the lice had no chance on Fidget's head.The day went smoothly and everyone listened and behaved well. Donald kept kneeling up when he should have been sitting." I am a bit concerned," I said, "is there something wrong with your bottom? Should I call a doctor?"He sat down. Later Madeline was kneeling up."Do you have Donald's Disease?" I asked....She sat immediately...it was all I needed to say now.Fidget missed some of his morning break as he was finishing his work off with me.At 12.30 I had all the non- religious people traipse in again."Read them a story" said the planning...but I couldn't be bothered so I  told them they were going to do a life drawing of me...and I sat in a chair for half an hour while they drew me.Here is some of their work.

My little visual art activity with bright colours and shadows, (I did silhouettes) went very well, I think and I was able to pop this up on the wall at the end of the day...I am back with them again in early June.