Keeping my balls up.

There are four beds in my room occupied by Barbara, Maurice, Jacqueline and I. Last night Maurice slept like a log, Barbara had a hypo, and Jacqueline cleared her throat all night like 'Ann Elk' in the Monty Python sketch. I didn't sleep at all."Have you drunk any water?" Asked Telma the nurse."A bit," I said."Hmmm, I don't want to give you a catheter," she said."Fetch me a jug of water," I said.At midnight I asked to go to the toilet. Telma helped me hobble into the loo pushing my drip trolley and carrying my drain box.She offered to go out but I didn't care if she stayed as I sat down to wee. I felt something warm and wet on my left side and upper left leg and noticed that it was blood. I told Telma about it and she pressed a button for assistance and soon another nurse joined us."This is cosy," I said, never for one minute imagining that I would ever be on the loo weeing and bleeding with two nurses wondering what to do.They got me back in bed, cleaned me up and changed the dressing. My blood pressure alternated between low and high throughout the long night. I was comfortable but remembered everything. I was scared to go to the loo again at 5.30am but I was bursting. It all went well and Telma left me alone. I sat in my chair after that until breakfast chatting with Barbara and Jacqueline. Maurice hid behind his curtains. After breakfast Dr Cole arrived with his entourage and said that the drain could be removed."Has my lung reinflated?" I asked."We reinflated it in the theatre after the operation." He said.I said I had only used my pain killer button twice and he said that perhaps they would remove that later too. He said when I could show I could walk and manage the pain with tablets alone I would be allowed to go home.A physiotherapist arrived and marched me round the ward twice and I came back in the most pain I had felt so far.Kylie took over from Telma and Kylie removed my drain. I didn't feel it coming out but was alarmed to see how much tubing she pulled out of me.I felt much better after the drain came out. Will arrived at 10. A bevvy of female doctors arrived. I impressed them by showing them how I could keep my balls up on my 'triflow'  device and they ordered me off the pain relief drip and onto tablets. I had a shower and came out a different man in my own clothes.I had an email from Stanthorpe offering me a weeks supply in June and a week in July with years 5/6 and 3/4 respectively...which I accepted.By lunchtime Kylie had removed my cannulas and I was feeling quite chipper. They moved Barbara to another room as someone was coming from ICU and needed to be near the nurses station. At 2.00pm I was taken for an X-ray and came back to find the pubic hair shaver in Barbara's place. It turns out he is a Maori footballer... I wonder if he is famous.The doctors came round again at 4.30 and were pleased with my progress and said that if all goes well I can get out tomorrow.I honestly cannot believe I have recovered so quickly.

The operation.

So...I arrived at the P.A. Hospital yesterday at 8.00 am with Will and checked in before being sent up to the Pre-Op department. It was very busy and I expected a bit of a wait but we had hardly sat down before my name was called by Sabina."Are you waiting or going?" She asked Will. We both hesitated not expecting to be parted so soon, but both felt she was indicating he should leave. We didn't have time for a proper goodbye in the packed waiting room before he was gone and I followed Sabina. Firstly I changed into fetching paper underwear and a mauve smock and then found Sabina was waiting in another seating area sat by a large computer monitor on a trolley.The check in procedure that followed took about an hour with Sabina asking hundreds of questions. I got the impression she was pretty much a beginner as she had prompts written on her arm which she crossed off at various points in the interview. There were other people waiting too but they were not being grilled. Sabina had trouble with the blood pressure machine...in fact she stood for 10 minutes reading the instruction manual! She tapped at the keyboard with one finger as if it was the first time she'd seen one.Most of the questions I had answered before on previous hospital visits, ' Do you smoke?' 'Do you drink?'. I answered them but didn't really need to hear how Sabina would answer them but she discussed at length her infrequent alcohol intake."Are you pregnant?" She asked."No," I answered in the same monotone I had answered the rest."Are you bored?" Asked Sabina."A bit," I lied, but added, " you are actually making me look forward to the operation Sabina!" I was losing the will to live.When she finally finished the computerised questionairre it asked if she wanted to save everything. She pressed 'no' and said "let's go find a bed."There wasn't an empty one so we ended up back in the seating area with the computer monitor.An empty bed was wheeled past. "Shall we grab that one," I said jumping up.Sabina got me in the bed and it was then I realised that all the other nurses were interviewing their patients standing by their beds. Sabina didn't stand...she preferred to sit.Sabina went and the long wait began from 9.30 until 1. 20. The guy in the next bed was having a heart valve replacement. A nurse came and pulled the curtains around him saying she had to shave him. The shaver buzzed for a bit before she said "...and now the pubic region. Do you want me to get one of the guys to do it?""I don't want anyone to do it." He said. He ended up doing it himself in the loo.Eventually I heard my name mentioned by the receptionist answering the phone and knew I was next. It was quite surreal being wheeled to theatre C5 feeling some relief that the wait was over and a lot of fear about what was ahead.I was wheeled into ante-room outside the operating theatre where they were finishing off the previous operation. I was greeted by a friendly nurse who soon disappeared into the theatre to help them clear up. I was alone for awhile and the fear became almost overwhelming and it took a lot of effort not to cry. Dr Cole appeared, who I met before when they decided to go ahead with the operation. He reviewed my charts with his trainee surgeon and drew an arrow on my left shoulder. The anaesthetist came in and fitted a canula into the back of my left hand and I discussed my fear of feeling everything while appearing unconscious but he said not to worry. He was honest and said some people feel the throat tubes going in or coming out but that it was rare and he would be monitoring me closely. I was asked more questions, "Do you smoke?, drink?" I jumped in and said "I'm not pregnant either."The anaesthetist appeared again saying "I am just going to give you some valium.""What is that for?" I asked."Just to keep you calm," he said...the next thing I knew a nurse was saying my name and it said 5 on a blurry clock. I couldn't keep my eyes open and kept seeing the nurse and then beautiful scenes of rocks, trees and water then the nurse again then back to the rock scenes.I was wheeled upto Ward 3C and soon after Dr Cole appeared out of the mist and said that it had all gone well and that he had been interested to see what it was so had cut it open when it came out and that it was full of pus. Nice! He said it was more like a cyst."How long have I had it?" I asked."Probably since you were born." He said.Ugh! A 50 year old pus bag.Will appeared and held my hand and stroked it quietly for ages as I drifted in and out of sleep. I told him I loved him and he thought it was the drugs making me emotional but I knew what I was saying and I meant it.

All's Well!

This is not Nicholas, but Possum Galore posting from under the eaves of Frogknot's roof. I have heard it on the grapevine that Nicholas' operation went very well (after a long wait in pre-op) and Will visited him tonight and took him grapes. He apparently is looking very well, although tired, and perhaps a little emotional from too much morphine! I hope he saves some grapes for me. He told Will to tell me to tell you that he will be posting again very soon - so keep your ears open. Time for me to go and drop some pellets on the roof, and perhaps steal a passionfruit or two. I leave you with the joyous news of Nicholas' good health and bid you adieu.PG xxxxx

To Brisbane...again!

Right...we are packed and ready to head to Brisbane. Unless something incredible happens on the way down I will not post again until after my operation.Ros has Vimto waiting for me in Brisbane and Galaxy Chocolate!I have been told that it takes between 3 to 6 days for my lung to reinflate after the operation and I will not be allowed out until it does. Whenever that is I have been invited down to stay with Tracy and Jen on the Clarence for a while to recover while Will comes home to make cheese.How lucky am I to have all these wonderful friends?!PS. I know I owe so many people emails from before and after Christmas and I will have plenty of time to reply to you by the river soon. XX

Grape pickers.

Our neighbours have a small vineyard and were picking today and called us down to collect some grapes to take to Brisbane. Everyone in hospital has to have grapes.We took our secateurs and cut grapes with them for awhile. I have never done it before and it was fun. The three boys were the 'bucket boys', collecting the buckets the adults filled with grapes and tipping them into the large container on the back of the truck.We had taken down some of our passion fruits in exchange for grapes and they distracted the boys from their job as they set about eating them.We picked Verdelho grapes and got black and white Muscat grapes to eat....They were delicious!