So...what is 'Wang' with me?

The last few days have not been pleasant.Firstly, Will was ill with something that was very much like what I had in Melbourne. He thankfully recovered after 24 hours.On Friday I began to feel unwell, with an ache in my right side and a very tender and sore belly. I have long suspected that I sometimes suffer with IBS and have had similar occurrences on and off for a few years but they do usually not last much more than a day.This time the ache was pretty constant and when paracetamol did not help turned to ibuprofen which helped.We both did not get much sleep on Friday night because I was feeling very uncomfortable and was consequently restless.Will had checked the opening times of the surgery online and found that it was closed on Saturdays and Sundays but we did, if necessary, have the option of calling '123 SICK' the out of hours doctor service.I nipped to the shops on Saturday morning and noticed that actually the Surgery was open and so made an appointment to see Dr Wang at 12.15.The waiting room had changed since my last visit and it now had a large TV screen to entertain those waiting. I soon realised it was not just ordinary programming, it was 'TonicTv' sowing a selection of health related items.I learned to 'eat plenty of vegetables' (doh!),'drink tea' (because Asian people are healthier) and play golf (because golf players are healthier than non golf players).All of the large bellied men in the waiting room were just looking at their phones and not watching.Finally it was time to heave my belly into Dr Wang's office. I explained everything, how  felt etc. His first thought was 'shingles' but he could find no rash."Oh, I have a spot here on my arm," I said, pointing it out.He was most amused by that because apparently 'shingles' only covers the area of your nervous system...."You get rash here...." he said waving his hand down and across my back, not here pointing at my shoulders and laughing.He poked and prodded...."Does it hurt?"...It didn't. I had to show I could bend over.....I could."It a bit red," he said."You do a urine sample, and I think we get ultrasound. ""I noticed that it says on the packet 'check with your doctor before taking ibuprofen if you are on blood pressure medication'," I said.He gave me some paracetamol/codeine tablets...."Very strong, no driving. Come back on Monday morning."I made an appointment for Monday morning, got the tablets from the Pharmacy and walked over to Terry's place to make an appointment for my ultrasound.Terry himself was sat behind the reception desk, looking more sleazy and greasy than normal."Stupid, F*&£?ing thing!" were the first words he uttered..... he was talking to his computer not to me.It was the kind of charming welcome one can expect at Terry's."Ah, Nicholas!" It sounded like he'd heard of me.I wondered briefly if he had found Possum by accident and read how pleasantly I portray him."How long have you had the pain?""Since yesterday afternoon.""Well, you don't hang about do you?"What did that mean? Is there a proper length of time for leaving hideously nagging pains before you contact a doctor?"Are you busy? What days can you do?""Any day," I said. "The sooner the better.""What do you do?""I'm a carer.""So busy everyday." He said."Tuesday morning at 10.30?"It was a date!Saturday night was made easier with the help of the tablets and I did get some sleep.The pharmacist had said that as I had not taken any before it was best to start off with one at a time. I took one the first time but since then have been taking two.....every six hours. They seem to work for about 4 hours and then I am in pain for the next 2.Today, Sunday, has been awful....I have been in bed all day....a few times I have nearly called '123SICK' but braved it out. I have eaten nothing and just drunk water.....until I was sick and brought it all up again and had to start again. Where is Vimto when you need it?  I did get some Ribena....but I have very quickly gone off that.It has been hot and sticky and the Man Cave feels very much like being in a leper colony, with just one leper.4 more tablets and I can see Dr Wang again.....I think he is hoping to find a rash.....but there is no rash.With nothing to do but lie there and wonder what it is, I have come up with quite a few ideas, all of which do not fill me with joy.....even if that joy has just been given a new set of bottom teeth!"2015!.......this is not a good start........You better buck up! Mate!"