Renal Scan...part two.

I was awake before the alarm and as instructed emptied my bladder by 8.30 and drank 800 mls of water by 9.00.I arrived 10 minutes early as they had asked me too, at 9.50. It was a different receptionist. She took all my details."Did you drink the water?""Yes," I said."How do you feel?""Fine," I said."Take a seat when you are ready," she said. I thought about that as I sat down. Why not just 'take a seat'? Why add the 'when you are ready'? If you are standing at a receptionist's desk and they say 'please take a seat,' has anyone in the World ever said "Oh no, I'm not ready!" I doubt it.I sat down...the clinic was just a converted shop. I noticed a poster on the wall about the owner, Terry. It said Terry had grown up with a brother and had opened the ultrasound scanner clinic with his wife....his own wife, not his brother's wife. He had a good sense of humour, it said and former patients would pop in on their way past just to say hello. Terry was bigging himself up wasn't he?The door slid open and in came a man carrying a washing basket full of crumpled towels. He had balding dark hair greased down with brylcreem....or perhaps it was just grease...he wasn't smiling....it was Terry. Terry looked miserable and a little bit seedy. He disappeared around the corner with his crumpled towels.I didn't want Terry poking me with a lubricated stick. Luckily I got Jane.Jane led me into a back room, the lights were dimmed."If you could lie on the bed for me and unzip your trousers."I wondered for a moment if I had come to the right place.I lay down on my front."No, if you could lie on your back please," said Jane.I thought my kidneys were nearer my back....I was right...I found out later, but she wanted to check my bladder first.She squeezed some cold gel on my tummy and poked about with the ultra sound thingy. I realised that the big screen on the wall behind her, with the weird screen saver playing, was actually pictures of my bladder.After a few moments she said "Good. Now I need you to go and empty your bladder. You will find the toilet through that door." She pointed at a different door to the one I came in. I opened it and found I was outside again in a little yard. Across the yard was a door with 'Toilet' on it.I went in. It was a bit smelly and seedy....like Terry. I did what I had to do and washed my hands at the basin. Looking in the mirror I wondered if this was where Terry smeared the brylcreeem on his hair. I pulled at the paper towel and the whole roll started to unravel at once. It poured out of the dispenser and I was frantically trying to stop it. When I had, I then tried to, even more frantically, stuff it back in! It was hopeless So I ripped it off, dried my hands on the huge bundle of paper towel and stuffed it in the bin. I regained my composure and stepped out and back into Jane's room.She squeezed at the gel tube over my tummy and it spluttered noisily."Hmmm, I'm running out," she said.She poked about again and took some more pictures before asking me to lie on my side. That is when she started to look at my kidneys but she poked the wand just below my ribs on the side."Does that hurt?"It didn't but then she moved it and it did....but I didn't say anything. I had to turn over and then she did the other side. It did not take that long at all."It says here you have to have some arterial scans too. Have you made an appointment?"I hadn't."Well, I am the only one here qualified to do those scans," she said. "It will take a bit longer than the scan today."'What? Not Terry?' I thought...How lucky! I live to face another day without Terry poking me with a lubricated stick.I made the appointment for Saturday.....8.50 am."You have to fast for this one," said the receptionist."Eh? How long for?" I asked, worried."About eight hours. You are allowed to drink though."Hmmm, no golden calamari at the markets then!.........bugger!