Main, Pudding, Starter?.....so what?....it all ends up in the same place.

So.....yesterday Will was feeling better and we went to see Dulcie at lunchtime.The man-woman had gone from the bed next to her.Chelsea the Physio (student) and her mentor arrived. We thought we would head off for a bit to let them work with her but they said'No, stay and see how she does.'Dulcie manoeuvred herself to the edge of the bed and stood up at the wheeled walking frame and then walked halfway across the ward and back. She wanted to get back in her bed but the Physio (mentor) was firm and persuaded her to sit in her chair for awhile.They brought her lunch and it was fish and potato wedges and looked really good....for hospital food!She ate all the fish and chips but left her vegetables, which she normally eats,  and then ate her beef broth soup....a main then a starter but who cares as long as you get it down you!She was looking good and Will, not having seen her for awhile was pleased with her improvement. She still had the oxygen tubes and was short of breath but she was much more like the Dulcie we know. A nurse said that they were hoping to take her up to Rehab either that afternoon or the following day. It all sounded good.We stayed with her a while and then went off to do some shopping, telling her we would be back later around tea time to see her.At about 5.00pm we arrived at her ward to find her bed gone. We found a nurse who said she had been taken up to Rehab. We asked which ward. The nurse had no idea.We went up in the lift and went to ward 4b. We asked for her at the nurses station. Three doctors were there looking at a computer screen. An indian doctor held out his hand and we introduced ourselves ....I think he said he was Dr Sri. He began to take us to where she was but was telling us he was very concerned about her breathing. He stopped in the corridor and said that she had had some blood tests and he wanted her to go for a CT scan immediately as there was a danger that she might have blood clots on her lungs. Then he broadsided us by asking if she had an Advance health care directive....basically asking us what her wishes would be regarding resuscitation.It was all a bit of a shock after being so pleased with her progress earlier on in the day. And so we found ourselves a few moments later sat by her while he asked her..."if you were to die tonight on the ward Dulcie, would you want to be resuscitated?" He did it very nicely and explained that it was a worse case scenario....but how the day had changed. He explained that when the heart stops for awhile it can affect the brain....Dulcie was clear...she did not want to be brought back if she would have any brain damage."I don't want you to worry about it." He said."Oh, I'm not worried, dear." she said.They came to take her down for the CT Scan. We went with her following the bed, the porter and a nurse and sat on some chairs while they wheeled her in.We could hear they had to get her off her bed onto the machine and then we heard the automated voice saying:"Do not breathe now..............breathe normally now." It repeated about 4 times and we heard a nurse say quite sharply......"Stop moving!"The we heard someone say "Well, Dulcie you've tried everything we have down here now, haven't you?"They wheeled her out on her bed and she was just shaking her head...'torture,' she said.They took her back up to a room nearer the nurses station and not the one that we had first been taken to by Dr Sri.They brought all her things from the other room and  left us with her for awhile.  She was just tired and fed up and wanted to come home. Rehab, she had been told was going to help get her home quicker but had ended up leading to more cannulas and trips to X-ray.Nina the head nurse came and spoke to us and said that it was all a bit out of the ordinary and usually she would be giving us another speech...but that they were waiting for the results of the scan and there was a possibility that she would be moved to ICU. (Intensive Care.) The day seemed to be getting worse.Ros was coming round for tea but we had to cancel that while we waited for news from the doctor. All the kerfuffle had taken place at tea time and she had missed her tea. We asked about it and eventually her tea was brought.It was fish again....but very tough fish...I could hardly cut it."I think it's shark!" I said.She was not hungry but she tucked in.There were four beds in the ward like the one downstairs, Dulcie, by the window , next to her was Ann who was glued to the telly on the ceiling. Opposite Dulcie was Mary....who looked like she'd passed on.....but only turned out to be sleeping. She looked like a frozen chorister with her mouth hanging open in a silent song and her eyes closed. Opposite Ann was Marcelle....wrapped up as if she was in Siberia, again asleep but sat in a chair by her bed her head hanging down on her chest."I can't eat that shit," said Dulcie poking a fork at the fish, "and I'm not eating that," she said pointing at her bread roll in a plastic wrapper."Can I have it?" I asked. I was starving."Yes," she said,"take the butter too." I did and slipped them in my pocket.A different Indian doctor came and said that the scan had not shown any blood clots but a little fluid on her lungs.She was going to be started on antibiotics and she was to remain in Rehab. It was a relief.Will went off to relay events to Danny and Wendi.Marcelle had woken up and was slowly trying to get up out of her chair. It was as if she was moving in slow motion and I was engrossed, but a little concerned. 'Should she be doing that?' I wondered."Sit down Marcelle!" said a disembodied voice. She did....in slow motion.Dulcie had moved onto her trifle.'She is not going to eat her soup then,' I thought......but she did, after the trifle. It looked exactly the same as the beef broth at lunch but she ate most of it too.It was hard to leave her but she looked tired  and needed to rest. She hung onto both our hands for awhile.She wanted her sleeping pills. We told her to buzz for the nurse if she had any pain or if she needed anything."Hey, and if anyone asks what happened to that bread roll," I said, " say nothing!""I won't tell." She said blowing us a kiss.Today Shirley came up from Maclean. She was happy to be here to see her Mum and we were happy to have her here too. There are three back in the house.We went at 11.00 as that is the earliest you can go to Rehab as usually the morning is taken up with Physio and stuff.Dulcie looked ok but was tired.They came to get her out of bed for physio but pulled the curtain round her so we went down to the common room while they worked with her.Shirley said "Did you see that determination in her eyes when she saw them coming?"When we went back she was back in bed but we stayed while she had lunch, ham salad and pea and ham soup...in that order. She really perked up but then they put her on a nebuliser. It was noisy and steamy and poor Dulcie did not enjoy it at all as she breathed deeply with her head rocking backwards and forwards. Not only was it an ordeal for her but it was hard for us to watch. When she was back on an even keel we went off for our own lunches.Again this evening we went back and found Wendi there too. Dulcie was already eating her tea....sausages, mash and vegetables."It's the kind of tea you make,Ma" said Will."Yes, but it's not got shallots in the mash," I said."It's not as good as your mash, Nick," she said.Nina came and gave us the speech she should have given us yesterday as a welcome to Rehab but said they were still concerned about her breathing. While she spoke a very tiny person, an oompaloompa nurse, was fiddling with Dulcie's cannula and fixing her up to the antibiotic. Nina kept directing her talk alternately at me and the "Get Well Soon" card on the shelf above Dulcie's bed. I became so conscious that I was the last person she should have been talking too that I stopped looking at her in the hope she would look at someone else.Danny arrived and we were all there, hovering around her bed. She got a bit short of breath and we got a nurse who just said "relax and stop talking. Concentrate on your breathing."Will, Wendi and I wandered off to the common room while Shirley combed her hair and Danny talked to her.We went back a little later just to say goodbye and leave her to rest.Rehab will be good....if she can just get her breathing back as it was.