Badger Galore
Staying ‘Up Over’ for a while.
For today I am 'Stacey Rabbit'.
(In the following names have been changed and any resemblance to people living or dead is purely accidental....ahem.)So...I was woken by my phone vibrating just before 8.00 am. I did not recognise the number and guessed it to be TRACER asking me to cover in a school. I held the phone in my hand as it rang and thought of it as the $370 I would get for answering it but decided in the end not to answer it. I had things I wanted to do today...like tidy up for the first time since we got back...but first I went back to sleep.I was woken again just after 9.00 am by the phone ringing again. It couldn't be to teach now because school had started. I answered it."Hello Nick!" It was the Business Services Officer at a school in town, "What are you up to today?""Er...not very much," I was caught off guard."Do you fancy helping us and doing some cover work today?""Er...what is it for?""Well, it is as a Support Teacher and you would be working in different classes with different children."Before I had really thought about it I had said 'Yes'."When can you get here?""In about three quarters of an hour?""Great! See you at 10.00."What had I done? I fell out of bed and got washed and dressed, ate a few mouthfuls of yoghurt and then noticed 'chooks' in the garden. I spent ten valuable minutes I did not have chasing flippin' 'chooks' out of the garden with a broom before getting in the car and driving to town.Why had I said Yes? Did I not realise that I would be working with those children who I now basically want to avoid?! I was an idiot.At the school the SENCO handed me a timetable and explained that I was covering for Stacey Rabbit. She quickly told me about some of the children I would be working with and I was slowly filled with dread.I had to dash off to the first class, a 3/4 class, to work in class with a group of children. The teacher was young and I guessed in her first year of teaching. She was standing at the front with the class facing her. She looked up as I walked in."Hello, I'm Mr Allen and I am standing in for....er....for..." I couldn't remember the name, "...standing in for...someone and I am here to work with some children.""Now? " she asked."Yes," I said, "till 10.30.""Well, we are just doing this but I will set you off with a group shortly," she said indicating her whiteboard.I took a seat and noticed someone else sitting around a corner and wondered if she was being observed.She was teaching them about paragraphs.I have to say she was excellent. She reminded me of a swan as she calmly moved about the classroom teaching them about paragraphs. The class however were awful, distracted, restless and fidgeting with things. She moved gracefully about removing rulers and other objects from childrens hands and praised those who were listening. She was a swan in a rough sea filled with sharks. She explained everything clearly though I have to admit I didn't know or care that a paragraph must have a 'point', 'evidence', an 'explanation' and a 'linking sentence'.It turned out I was to work with some children with the other adult in the room who also turned out to be a support teacher."Gosh, she's good," I said to the other woman."Yes," she said. " She is. We are lucky to have her. I am mentoring her this year."I only had about 10 minutes left to help the children sent to me with their paragraph writing before I had to leave for another class. I apologised to the teacher and left for my second session in another 3/4 class."Mr Allen!" cries went up as I walked in. there were a few children I had briefly taught last year.I had remembered who I was covering for."Hello, I am Stacey Rabbit for today," I said to the teacher."Oh good,we are just about to do spelling groups, " she said.I was given three boys and we worked in another room outside the class. Their names all started with B. One of them was a 'Little B' and I knew him from last year but I had managed to avoid teaching in his class. We'll call the others 'Medium B' and 'Big B'. They had some words which they had to match to pictures.There was another group working in this room from another class and one of the children was causing a fuss and wouldn't sit down and was being very difficult. He was 'A' and he was autistic. He was not the autistic 'A' that had entered the realm of Toerag and Fidget last year, that was another one. I had seen this one last year kicking off during 'Parade' (assembly) and thought 'Oh my goodness, he's a handful.'I knew I had a one to one session with him later which the SENCO had warned me would be the hardest of the day."But you'll be fine," she had said, "I picked you because I knew you would be fine."I wished I had her confidence in me.I worked with my group of 'B''s and got them to sort and resort over again keeping them interested by saying that if they got them all right a second time I would do a little dance. Of course they did get them all right so I did my best John Travolta impression."You're funny" said .Little B'.We still had time to fill so I got them to try and sort and match the words and pictures quicker by saying"This time if you get them all right you have to do the little dance." I was not sure this 'on the hoof' idea would work but they went for it.They got them all right and enjoyed doing their little dances for me.The bell for Morning Tea rang and I was free from them.My next sessions, after break, were one to one in the SEP room. I don't know what SEP stands for, no one told me....Special Educational Programme?I popped into the Teacher Aides staff room, they have a room separate from 'real' teachers. I didn't know whether I was a Teacher Aide for the day or a Teacher but I had my break with them. I did feel that they were a bit uncomfortable that I was there."I am working with 'A' soon" I said, " Any tips?" They were very helpful and gave me some good advice.My first session after break was with 'Medium B' from earlier. He had a computer programme to work on so that half hour passed very quickly and easily. I walked him back to class and then went to the class next door to pick up 'A'."Hello," I said, "Today I am Stacey Rabbit and I have come to take 'A' to work with me."He took my hand and I led him like a lamb to the SEP room. He immediately went and got something off the shelf that wasn't part of the work we had to do. (We had to do reading! Aaaarrgghh!) I let him go with it for a bit. It was a selection of wooden food models which you could cut in half with a wooden knife, also provided."Zombie food!" he muttered and grabbing the knife said, "Let's fight them!"It wasn't the kind of thing I felt I should be doing and I wondered how he was going to react but I said,"Well, we need to put this away now and then I have got something to show you."I expected fireworks but he put them away and I spread out an array of interesting books from his work file."Which shall we read first?" I asked.He picked one about a helicopter.The Teacher Aides had said 'Make things as active as you can', 'get him moving.' It was raining in the story and there were lots of puddles in the picture so we got up and holding his hand we went round the room splashing in imaginary puddles. We went back to the story and along came a Tow Truck. I grabbed a big soft toy car and pretended my car had broken down and he was the Tow Truck and came and fixed it. Next he was a helicopter and I pushed him around the room on a wheely chair as he made helicopter noises. We read the next book and were cats and fish and he even acted out a part where a boy in the story said " No! No! No! Naughty cat, leave those fish alone!" Our last book was called Brave Tom who fell and hurt his knee. He showed me how Tom tripped and I pretended to clean his leg and put a plaster on it.Our thirty minutes was up and it was time to go back to class and he held my hand all the way back.My next session was in 'A's class and the teacher put me with him again. They were all doing persuasive paragraphs like the other year 3/4 classes but 'A' only had to put a sentence under a series of pictures he had drawn. We went out to work in the room I had been in earlier with the 'B's, the same room in which I had seen him causing a fuss and running about.He worked with me for half an hour and stayed on his chair. It was hard to get the sentences out of him to go under the pictures he had drawn. He was persuading people to buy cookies but his cookies were space cookies and the pictures were full of aliens. We managed three sentences in that half hour. The teacher was pleased. The bell went for lunch time.I went back to the SEP room and passing the Teacher Aides staffroom popped my head and called "I'm still alive!"During lunch break I had to spend half an hour supervising in the SEP room while all manner of children with behavioural problems descended upon it to play in an attempt to keep them out of mischief elsewhere. This was the worse bit of the day. I hadn't a clue who should be there and who shouldn't. One girl grabbed a box of musical instruments and I just managed to rescue a pair of cymbals from the grasp of 'Little B' before he clashed them."I don't think we will have these out today," I said. I hadn't the strength.'A' was there, all the 'B's and a dozen of others that I hadn't had the 'pleasure' of meeting. I caught one boy trying to steal some rubber snakes so sat down with him and his sister to distract him. We were chatting happily until his sister said,"Remember that time with Derek and Shirley, before Shirley died...""Oh dear," I said, " How did Shirley die?""Don't talk about it " said the snake thief putting his hands over his ears. " I had a dream that I stabbed her in the chest with a knife!"Yikes! Heaven knows what goes on in some of these children's lives."Well, let's talk about flowers.....or butterflies." I said.Thankfully that longest half hour of the day came to an end and for my last session of the day I had to work with a boy from a year 5/6 class who needed help with a geography assessment. He was delightful and not a bit of trouble though he seemed a bit down and tired. We didn't get the assessment finished but all the bits we did get filled in were done correctly.My day as Stacey Rabbit day hadn't been as bad as I had feared or been warned it could be. They thanked me for coming at such short notice. I didn't let on that I had ignored their earlier call that morning still I would be paid for four hours instead of five.I went to the supermarket straight after school and encountered grinning children in every aisle. Walking out into the carpark with a huge packet of toilet rolls under my arm I was accosted by another smiling and waving child from last year's Toerag and Fidget class and his mother."Crikey!" I said " I can't even buy toilet roll in peace!"
The Cutest Thing in the World!
The Legacy of a Cold.
So...today I finally was able to catch up with the washing from our trip 'Up Over' where we both caught colds...I shall call this picture '27 hankies'.
Into the deep blue.
Toerag and Fidget - One Year On.
So...today I was back at school .I had been called into cover in Toerag and Fidget's class and I was expecting them still to be there as last year they were in Year 1 and now they would be in Year 2After I said yesterday that I had been asked if I was interested in taking their class for two days a week for the next term I received an email to say that I was no longer needed as their present class teacher was leaving due to ill health and a new teacher was taking over on Monday. I am fine with that, though the money would have been good, but I think it is much better to have one teacher than two different ones.The class teacher they had had so far this year left yesterday, permanently I think as I found her office to be reminiscent of looted supermarket. It was gutted!The planning I had been left was basic to say the least but I do not blame her. If I was on my last legs the last thing I would be bothered about would be to plan fully for another teacher.The Senco came and explained the 'Ipad bribery' that kept Toerag in line. He had had a tantrum at home last night as his old teacher was leaving. A mother appeared asking me if she could come and collect her daughter's books after school as she was moving class."Oh, which class is she moving to?" I asked."I don't know" she replied, "just not this one." Oh dear. There is more to this I thought."You can collect the books for me but I am just in for the day. Please check with the office that it is OK with them," I said.The bell went and they all came in. There were lots of happy faces to see me which was nice.A woman walked in who I assumed had come to help with the first activity which was reading. She looked quite prim and nervy but quietly took a seat."Hello!" I said to the class, "Remember me?"Of course they did. half of them and been in this class last year and the rest I knew from taking the two Prep classes."Yes, I remember you too " I went on " I'm just getting over the nightmares."The prim, nervy woman laughed so loudly that those children sitting nearest to her jumped in utter fright.Today's 'Roll' question was 'if you could go anywhere in the World where would you go?'There were lots of Sydney's, a few America's, a South Pole, a couple of England's and Brisbane's and an Africa.We split into reading groups and as usual I was left sitting with two groups as one of the adults did not turn up. The Head appeared smiling, asked how I was and said that it was OK for the mother from earlier to come and collect her daughter's books after school.I told her I was waiting for another adult to take a group of children."Oh, I'll take them," she said, " I'd rather keep out of my office. What are we doing?""The plan I have been given just says 'Reading Comprehension'" I said unhelpfully.She took the group and I took mine and we spent half an hour reading and discussing the story. Fidget lived up to the name I have given him and wriggled throughout.When reading was over all the other adults left and we moved onto 'Handwriting' and the letter 'M'. I set them off and there was suddenly complete silence......it was quite weird but i enjoyed it while it lasted.After that we did maths. Toerag was working like a star....he wanted his time on that Ipad. He finished everything first and was no bother at all. Fidget just fidgeted and hasn't really grown up.Toerag got his Ipad time just before 'Morning Tea' and then off they all went. I went over to the office to get some photocopying done.I was standing by the photocopier copying when there was a loud "MR ALLEN!" It was a boy from the prep class last year. I looked up and saw the secretary on the phone between us so waved but put a finger to my lips. I walked over to him."How are you?" I asked."Good" he said, eating a biscuit."So why have you got to spend Morning Tea in the office?" I asked."For touching people's private places," was his unexpected reply."Oh, well just touch your biscuits then," I said and went back to my photocopying.I had to wave at various people all the way back to the classroom in reply to loud "MR ALLEN!" calls. I got a sense of what it must be like for Tom Cruise when he visits Aldi.After morning tea the planning said "Read a story" and the time I had to fill was one hour. I doubted that the children would have enjoyed 'War and Peace' so read some Frog and Toad stories.They had been learning about Life Cycles so we did the Life Cycle of a Frog and sang a frog song. I filled the hour and then they had earned a celebration for getting 100 Gotcha bands and the planning said 'Play Soccer.'Sigh.We went out and I split them into two teams and chucked a ball between them and let them chase it for half an hour. I hadn't a clue whether they were offside but Toerag scored four goals before it was thankfully time to go back in.It was lunchtime and stupidly I had asked if I had any duties....it seems I hadn't but seeing as I mentioned it they found me one....I had to take the 'Delinquents Club' ( my name for it not theirs )for half an hour in my classroom over the lunch break. These were those children who could not be trusted to play nicely during lunchtime and therefore had to be supervised. I had to go and collect them from where they were eating lunch and bumped into one of the other teachers."Hey!" she said, "You'll never guess what my class said this morning.They said 'Oh, it's not fair! Mr Allen is in school and he's not in our class"I put my hand on her shoulder."I'm sorry" I said.The 'delinquents' could bring a 'buddy' with them and of course Toerag was one and guess who he brought it?.....Yes! Flippin' Fidget! The loud private part toucher was there too and another year one lad with verbal diarrhea. My cup runneth over with the joy of it all.After lunch the plan said "Do something crafty" I did contemplate shouting "Look Out!" and pointing then doing a runner while they weren't looking but we made frogs from paper plates instead. They loved it and the last hour passed quickly.In the last 5 minutes before hometime I asked them what they were doing for the weekend.Fidget said he was going to Brisbane."I'm going to Brisbane too" I said menacingly, "I'll sniff you out. Keep looking behind you for I might be there watching you." I loomed over him...and then spotted the mother who was coming to collect her daughter's books eavesdropping.I pointed at another child, a delightful, smiley girl who had worked wonderfully all day"And what are you going to be doing this weekend?" I asked...and I kid you not...this was her reply..."Total Human Annihilation" she beamed. I was speechless and the silence was broken by the sound of the bell.Perhaps it is a good thing that I am not going to be with them for two days a week next term.