The Colourful Patient.

So.......I  was up and off to the Princess Alexandra Hospital this morning for the results of my recent CT scan.I dressed all in blue even though I never get to use the 'Blue' lifts but made very sure I clashed with the 'Orange' lifts in protest.."Hello, How are you?" said a very smiley girl as the main doors slid open and I walked in."Good, thank you," I said and headed off to the Respiratory Outpatients Department.There was a lady with a very bad 'Carol Channing' wig on in the lift. The strands of hair looked like they had all the flexibility of a crash helmet.The Respiratory Outpatients Department was packed. I checked in and tried to find a seat. This is what battery hens must feel like I thought. Everyone about me looked the worse for wear and even the chatter seemed to change into a constant clucking sound. The 'barn' we were in was bizarrely decorated in bright colours and there were pictures of lambs on the wall.I was just wondering if I would have to do the breathing tests again when someone entered the barn and called "Nicholas Allen?"I walked over to the nurse."I just need to get your weight" she smiled......"Ooh, you are all in blue, even your shoes!""Yes," I said. I emptied my pockets so that it did not look like I had put on too much weight and stood on the scales. They didn't break."Right, the doctor will call you shortly," said the nurse indicating that I should go back to the chicken shed, "I like blue," she added.Back with the rabble I tried to tune out the clucking. Madonna was on the TV screen. She was all upset in Stockholm about the Paris events, "They want us to shut up. They want to silence us but we will not be silenced."'I'm sorry but I kinda wish you would be silent.' I thought.I didn't really want to watch the 'Today' special about the Paris attack but there was no where else to sit. It's not that I don't care about what has happened, I do, it is just that I still find it all too disturbing to comprehend. I am a chicken that would rather be an ostrich at the moment."Nicholas Allen?"It was Dr Fanning. I escaped the barn and went into his room."How are you?" He asked."Good," I said sitting down."Right, well, the technician has looked at your scan and he has measured it at about 1 mm bigger than before. So the question is, what do we do about it? ""I wonder what it is," I said."Well, we could leave it or we could just get it taken out," said Dr Fanning. " For me the thing that bothers me is that it is quite big to just leave it but it is a big operation to take it out........there are bigger operations.....but it is still quite a big operation."He went into thinking mode and I could see he was pondering heavily...."We might do a PET scan.......""What is the difference between a PET scan and a CT scan?" I asked."Well, a PET scan gives more detail," he said. "They inject you with a glucose solution and any active tissue, like a tumour, sucks it in and shows up as a 'hot spot' on the scan. The good thing about a PET scan too is that it will show up if there is anything else as it is of your whole body."I wondered if it was to see if I had any gerbils concealed about my body but I quite liked the sound of that. I think I am becoming addicted to medical procedures. I have had quite a few different scans now, ordinary x-rays, various ultrasounds, a few CT scans, an echocardiogram and a brain scan but  PET scan sounded 'Top Trumps'!"Well, I will go with whatever you think," I said." I think a PET scan is the way forward and then we can see how we proceed from there," he said. "Are there any other issues?""Well, I have been coughing quite a lot since my last cold and have difficulty clearing my throat," I said."Just pop up on here," he said indicating the bed.I lay down."Now you can sit up," he said. " You are all colour co-ordinated." He added."I am" I said.He listened to my chest as I took deep breaths but said that it all sounded fine.We sat back down at his desk and he got a form and started to fill it in."I'll see you again in 3 weeks after the scan," he said. "No diabetes?""No," I said, but was thinking 'not yet!'"Any issues with claustrophobia?""Only if it is underground," I said."Well, it is sort of underground," he said, "it is in the basement.""No, I meant like in a cave," I said, " where you are deep underground and you have to squeeze through a narrow gap and I would be thinking about all the rock and soil above me that could come down on me and crush me.""I don't think we need worry about that then," he said."Any questions?" he asked.I didn't have any."Right see you again in three weeks," he said and shook my hand.I dropped the form off at reception desk and she gave me an appointment for Dr Fanning on the 7th December at 8.45 am."They will let you know when your PET scan is," she said.I was almost out of the hospital when the smiley girl collared me again."Do you have a few moments to spare?""OK," I said.She went into automatic mode about the 'PA research department' and fund raising but I couldn't quite take it all in, then she mentioned raffle tickets and I thought ' oh well I can get one of those.' She had manoeuvered me towards a stand which had some raffle ticket books laid on it.She was wittering on and on and I was not really paying much attention as my head was full of gerbils and caves and big operations.I suddenly noticed '$100' on the raffle ticket book and she mentioned "$100" in her waffle.I stopped her." Excuse me, are you saying that it is $100 to buy these?""Yes" she said, " but the money goes towards the PA research centre.""I'm sorry I don't have $100 to spare, " I said."Well, as I said it is only $50 for half a book," she went on."I'm sorry, but I don't have the cash," I said."We take cards," she said but I was already heading for the door. She was not so smiley now.I walked out into the sunshine looking magnificent as my outfit matched the sky.

Wash out!

So........we were up early and off to visit Cutty and collect the hat which I left in her room last weekend. We had decided to make a weekend of it and booked a campsite at Boreen Point by Lake Cootharaba for the night.We left Brisbane in the rain but as we got further north found that the sun was indeed shining upon the Sunshine Coast.We found Cutty much better than last weekend and she had a good old reminisce and we left her heading off to lunch with her friend Norma.We drove to the campsite which was much quieter than we had expected as it was the weekend. We pitched our tent and went straight for a dip in the lake.The water was incredibly warm and we lay in the water and watched a storm approach. The wind picked up and the thunder grew louder. As it got closer we got out of the water and watched the lightning striking across the lake before finally heading back to the camp for a shower.As we came out of the shower block the storm hit so we took shelter there. We watched as one poor tent was wildly buffeted by the strong winds and its awning was demolished. Our tent seemed to be coping well with the wind but then came the torrential rain.It bucketed down and the pathways turned to rivers and a large puddle formed around our tent. Poor Will had not felt too well before we set off but now he started to shiver and was very pale. We had to stay under cover for at least 45 minutes before the was a lull and we dashed for the cover of the car.Will put on extra layers and lay down for a nap. The rain eventually stopped and I ventured out to survey the damage. Amazingly our tent was still dry inside.It was clear though that a second storm was approaching so I removed all our bedding from the tent and put it in the car and took shelter again.The second storm was not as wild as the first but there was further heavy rain. Will was asleep but I watched as people left after packing up their tents. It was then that I found out about the terrible events in Paris. It is just madness.Will woke as the second storm died out but the rain radar app on my phone showed that a third was on the way.All things considered but mostly because Will was not well, we bundled the tent into the back of the car and abandoned our camping trip.There was a lot of debris on the road home and at one point encountered a man in the road warning traffic of a branch that had brought down a powerline on one side of the road.There was another spectacular storm over Brisbane as we approached.We are back in the Man - Cave but at least it is dry.Boreen Point has been drenched by four storms today....it was a wash out!

Sherwood Festival.

Is it me?

'Dear Nicholas Allen 

 

We have recently acknowledged that you have not been engaged as a teacher with the Department of Education and Training for the past 12 months or more.   

 

As you are a valued teacher applicant, we are advising you that your profile will be deactivated (as an available teacher applicant).

 

Please reply to this email by the 20^th November 2015 if you wish to be considered for teacher employment for the next 12 months.'

Blood Pressure Rising!

So.......back to Inala I went this morning with the forms I filled in yesterday and the evidence I collected, back to my place on the green chairs.The green chairs were quite empty which was encouraging, because hopefully I would not have to wait too long to be seen. the few people that were already waiting were sat in the green chairs nearest the reception point but being an unsociable loner I wandered over to the furthest set and sat down.It wasn't long before someone else did the same thing. There were at least 6 rows of seats but this fellow sat right behind me and proceeded to breathe heavily down my neck like a bull. He was making some strange grunting sounds in between his heavy breaths but I did not turn round to look.'We apologise but we are experiencing system difficulties at the moment. Please bear with us' said a sign on the wall.No names were called for ages. The limpy bloke, who called me 'Buddy' yesterday, was there and I was praying he didn't call my name, I was still quite apt to kick his limpy leg.The amiable girl from yesterday was also there and she seemed to be the only one doing any work. There were about three people staring at their computer screens and another was tapping away on her mobile phone and the green chairs were filling up. The 'Bull' disappeared and I slipped into a torpor until someone said "Nicholas Allen?"Her name badge said she was Lien."How can I help?"I spread my forms and evidence out on the table in front of her and she sighed......yep, it looked like hard work.I handed her the 'Income and Assets Form' first. She sighed again and tapped away at the computer and peered at her screen.Then she looked at the two MOD R forms."You have two properties?!" She asked as if I was some wealthy tycoon."One is mine and one is my partners.""Oh, do you have any identification for your partner?"My forced smile faded. I didn't."I wasn't asked to bring identification for my partner. I was just informed I needed to bring my own identification which I have here and the evidence of our Assets""Oh, well it all changed on the 1st of July and we now need identification for your partner."I was screaming inside."Does he have to bring it?""No, you can bring it. A passport, a driver's license and a bank card will do."She checked my identification.....nothing had changed since I last presented it last year......but they needed it again apparently.She took the evidence to support the forms I had completed and went and photocopied the documents and brought them back and handed me back the originals."OK, that is fine, we just need your partner's identification when you have time to bring it."I drove home."Success?" said Will.He couldn't believe what I told him. I collected his identification and drove back to Inala. I felt like I practically lived there now.I checked in at the reception point."I was here about 10 minutes ago and was told I needed more identification which I was not aware of," I said hoping they would bump me up the queue but I was directed to the green chairs to wait again.

View from the green chairs.

The people who worked there seemed to have finished their ebay shopping, twittering and Facebook posting and actually seemed like they were working now.

The woman sat behind me, already in a torpor, was startled when her name was called and she jumped up.

"Who said that?" she cried disorientated.

"Nicholas?"

Yep, that's right. I have been there so many times now that they know me by my first name!

It was Tina. She worked next to Lien.

"Oh, hi again!" said Lien as I walked past.

"How can I help?" Asked Tina.

"I have brought identification for my partner. Lien told me I needed to bring it." I said nodding in her direction.

Tina tapped away at her computer and peered at the screen.

"Oh, why have had to bring that? It was not requested."

The forced smile fell from my face and shattered on the desk.

Limpy man was bumped to second on my hit list and Lien had moved into first place!

Tina wheeled her chair over and whispered with Lien then came back and tapped at her computer some more.

"It is something to do with the changes from the 1st of July," I said.

"Oh is it?" said Tina.

Yep, there I was telling them what they should know now.

She checked Will's identification.

"Well, at least he won't have to do that again now it is all in the system. That's a good thing isn't it?.........."

I couldn't speak. They already had my identification but needed it again why would they never need to ask for it from Will again?

"........that is unless things change, " laughed Tina.

"Do you have any other documents you need scanning?"

"I hope not!" I said with dead eyes, channelling Arnold Schwarzenegger from the Terminator movies.

I left and drove home.

..........and breathe...............