Possum Galore
A life ‘Down Under’!
The Bearers of Sad News.
I got four hours sleep last night with things going through my mind but at least Will slept well.I was up and had the washing machine on even before I got dressed. We remade Dulcie's bed and tidied her room knowing Terry, who was flying up from Tasmania, would want to spend some time in there.When all was ready we headed off to Wendi's in Roxy, and then all three of us headed north in Wendi's car on the drive to Tewantin to break the news to Cuttie.It was about a 2 hour drive and we arrived at Noosa North Shore just after midday.
We got fish and chips by the river for lunch and then drove to the Aged Care Village where Cuttie now lives.The village had different housing blocks with about 8 residents in each who had their own room and bathroom. Cuttie was in MacDonald House.She was asleep on her bed and when quietly calling her name didn't work Wendi gently roused her. She was pleased to see us as we said hello and then she said,"Where's your Mum?"Wendi told her that she had died yesterday. Whether she didn't hear properly or just couldn't take it in I don't know but she said "Where is she?"Wendi told her again and then it sank in.She was so upset. They had been best friends for years and years. She was just stunned and shocked and there were long, heavy moments of silence as you could see her thinking about and remembering times past with Dulcie.We had to go and see her in person as it would have been awful to ring and then think of her, after the call, alone in her room.There was some sobbing and lot's of reminiscing and more long silences."She loved her children," said Cuttie."Yes, she always said she had no favourites," said Wendi."Yes, she used to say that to me, " said Cuttie, " She was such a big liar."She had to lie down as she was not having such a good day as far as pain went."Well, I will be joining my good friend soon," she said getting upset again."She'll be waiting with the kettle on," I said, and probably smoking a cigarette now we are not around to stop her."We stayed with her about 2 hours. At one point a nurse came in to give her some medication and I told the nurse that we had just delivered some sad news and could she keep an eye on Cuttie for the day?"Are you alright Blanche?" she asked. I was not convinced of her concern.It was hard to leave her but we said we would be back again soon. I showed her this picture,
and she loved it and I said we would print it out and bring it back for her.Will told the woman at reception exactly what we told the nurse and that we were concerned and could someone keep an eye on her after hearing the sad news." Did you tell the nurse?" said the woman."Yes" said Will."Well, she will keep an eye on her." She was so hard faced with no compassion that I could have slapped her."Cold hearted bitch" I muttered as we walked out, channelling Dulcie.We called to see Bill and Nancy, old neighbours of Cuttie's who regularly visit her. I had heard about them often but never met them and I was shocked to see how old they were. Nancy was 94 and apparently Bill was older! He reminded me of The Major from Fawlty Towers and had two hearing aids in.At first they did not recognise Wendi but soon realised who she was. We were invited in and told them the sad news and they were very sorry too."And how do you two chaps fit in?" asked Bill."Well, I am Wendi's brother and Dulcie's son," said Will "and this is my partner, Nick.""Oh, it's your father," said Bill.No one corrected him and I was mortified that I could look old enough to be Will's father and then was desperately trying so hard not burst out laughing at such a serious time.Nancy was talking now but I wasn't listening as I tried to contain my giggles and I just sat there grinning madly, stifling the laughter and nodding as I pretended to be listening to what she was saying. It was only then then that I realised she was talking about her sister having a stroke. I kept on nodding and quickly changed my grin to a look of concern.We didn't stay too long after that and set off on the two hour journey back to Brisbane and arrived home about 6.30 pm.All Dulcie's children were in her house together tonight to write Dulcie's eulogy for the Celebrant on Friday.Heck, I hope I can get some sleep tonight.
'Parting is such sweet sorrow.'
Dulcie is leaving us.The last few days have been amazing, horrible, wonderful, distressing and comforting She has been surrounded by her wonderful family and showered with love and kisses. So many lovely things have been said and it has been an emotional rollercoaster."I always thought I had a lovely family but you have all proved it," she said from her bed.As I knelt beside her in bed over the weekend and held her left hand she lifted her right arm with the little strength she had left and put it round my shoulders and said "I love you Nick.""I love you too" I said failing miserably not to cry.The house was filled with music as Will and Tracy played on harp, guitar and mandolin.Dulcie listened from her bed and loved it. Will had played the harp when they scattered his father's ashes up at Yabba, the place where Dulcie and her husband first lived together."Do you remember at Yabba?" She asked him. He nodded. "I'l be up there soon," she said."Do you want to go to Yabba?" I asked to make sure and in typical Dulcie style she replied."I don't give a bugger where you put me."Yesterday a palliative care doctor, Liz and a nurse, Amber came to our rescue and gave us the support and help we had needed all weekend.Liz knelt by Dulcie's bed and took her hand and talked to her. She asked her what Dulcie wanted and Dulcie was able to say that she didn't want to go to hospital. Liz asked how she felt and Dulcie said that she was 'going downhill'."Yes" said Liz, " I don't think you have very much longer to live Dulcie. Are you scared?"She shook her head.Dulcie was able to tell her herself that she didn't want to go to hospital."Well, it's a deal Dulcie. You are not going to hospital."Amber said the house had a lovely presence about it as she got the medications ready.They fitted her up to a pump that slowly releases medication to make her more comfortable and Amber showed me how to administer extra doses of medication to help her combat pain, nausea or breathlessness as needed and Dulcie went to sleep.It is now 9.00 am and Dulcie has been asleep since yesterday lunchtime but she is peaceful, calm and quiet and her 92 (though she would say 93) year old heart and lungs will not give up just yet. I think she is catching up on all the sleep she has missed over the last months. She is breathing steadily and every now and again exhales loudly and makes our hearts skip a beat before she takes another breath again.A nurse is coming later to see her.......and wouldn't you just know it.........after all that, it turns out that the best people in these situations are from Blue Care..........Doh!
The Ornament.
Dulcie is tired and getting weaker.As Will was helping her from her chair to bed, tonight after tea, she sighed,"I'm just an ornament.""A priceless ornament," he said, " A Fabergé egg."
'Ballah, Hi!'
Will and I were ready at 9.30 am for our first respite with Kin Care. We were expecting them about then but they did not turn up until 10.30.The lady who came was African and said her name was Ballah. I felt a bit for Dulcie waking up to a smiling African face with a mane of black hair peering at her. It is not in her usual morning routine.......the hair I mean.Ballah was lovely but Will and I both felt a bit guilty leaving Dulcie behind and heading out for four whole hours!.......and a bit.We went for a wander in the city. We saw some goat pies for lunch from 'The Goat Pie Guy' at a pop up food market but when we got them they were not heated up......so we have saved them for tea and went and had something Japanese instead.We walked over 10 kms in all and even popped into the Gallery of Modern Art, with our goat pies, on our way back.We got back about 2 50 pm.It was just as well as Ballah got a phone call just after we arrived and had to dash off. Her daughter had gone missing from school or something dramatic like that.She is back for the shower tomorrow so we will hopefully hear what happened then and that it all turned out well.Update:All is well with Ballah's daughter. The person who was picking her up from school had been waiting in the wrong place and when no one collected her the P.E teacher held on to her in a different part of the school campus but all worked out in the end and Ballah found her.