Main, Pudding, Starter?.....so what?....it all ends up in the same place.

So.....yesterday Will was feeling better and we went to see Dulcie at lunchtime.The man-woman had gone from the bed next to her.Chelsea the Physio (student) and her mentor arrived. We thought we would head off for a bit to let them work with her but they said'No, stay and see how she does.'Dulcie manoeuvred herself to the edge of the bed and stood up at the wheeled walking frame and then walked halfway across the ward and back. She wanted to get back in her bed but the Physio (mentor) was firm and persuaded her to sit in her chair for awhile.They brought her lunch and it was fish and potato wedges and looked really good....for hospital food!She ate all the fish and chips but left her vegetables, which she normally eats,  and then ate her beef broth soup....a main then a starter but who cares as long as you get it down you!She was looking good and Will, not having seen her for awhile was pleased with her improvement. She still had the oxygen tubes and was short of breath but she was much more like the Dulcie we know. A nurse said that they were hoping to take her up to Rehab either that afternoon or the following day. It all sounded good.We stayed with her a while and then went off to do some shopping, telling her we would be back later around tea time to see her.At about 5.00pm we arrived at her ward to find her bed gone. We found a nurse who said she had been taken up to Rehab. We asked which ward. The nurse had no idea.We went up in the lift and went to ward 4b. We asked for her at the nurses station. Three doctors were there looking at a computer screen. An indian doctor held out his hand and we introduced ourselves ....I think he said he was Dr Sri. He began to take us to where she was but was telling us he was very concerned about her breathing. He stopped in the corridor and said that she had had some blood tests and he wanted her to go for a CT scan immediately as there was a danger that she might have blood clots on her lungs. Then he broadsided us by asking if she had an Advance health care directive....basically asking us what her wishes would be regarding resuscitation.It was all a bit of a shock after being so pleased with her progress earlier on in the day. And so we found ourselves a few moments later sat by her while he asked her..."if you were to die tonight on the ward Dulcie, would you want to be resuscitated?" He did it very nicely and explained that it was a worse case scenario....but how the day had changed. He explained that when the heart stops for awhile it can affect the brain....Dulcie was clear...she did not want to be brought back if she would have any brain damage."I don't want you to worry about it." He said."Oh, I'm not worried, dear." she said.They came to take her down for the CT Scan. We went with her following the bed, the porter and a nurse and sat on some chairs while they wheeled her in.We could hear they had to get her off her bed onto the machine and then we heard the automated voice saying:"Do not breathe now..............breathe normally now." It repeated about 4 times and we heard a nurse say quite sharply......"Stop moving!"The we heard someone say "Well, Dulcie you've tried everything we have down here now, haven't you?"They wheeled her out on her bed and she was just shaking her head...'torture,' she said.They took her back up to a room nearer the nurses station and not the one that we had first been taken to by Dr Sri.They brought all her things from the other room and  left us with her for awhile.  She was just tired and fed up and wanted to come home. Rehab, she had been told was going to help get her home quicker but had ended up leading to more cannulas and trips to X-ray.Nina the head nurse came and spoke to us and said that it was all a bit out of the ordinary and usually she would be giving us another speech...but that they were waiting for the results of the scan and there was a possibility that she would be moved to ICU. (Intensive Care.) The day seemed to be getting worse.Ros was coming round for tea but we had to cancel that while we waited for news from the doctor. All the kerfuffle had taken place at tea time and she had missed her tea. We asked about it and eventually her tea was brought.It was fish again....but very tough fish...I could hardly cut it."I think it's shark!" I said.She was not hungry but she tucked in.There were four beds in the ward like the one downstairs, Dulcie, by the window , next to her was Ann who was glued to the telly on the ceiling. Opposite Dulcie was Mary....who looked like she'd passed on.....but only turned out to be sleeping. She looked like a frozen chorister with her mouth hanging open in a silent song and her eyes closed. Opposite Ann was Marcelle....wrapped up as if she was in Siberia, again asleep but sat in a chair by her bed her head hanging down on her chest."I can't eat that shit," said Dulcie poking a fork at the fish, "and I'm not eating that," she said pointing at her bread roll in a plastic wrapper."Can I have it?" I asked. I was starving."Yes," she said,"take the butter too." I did and slipped them in my pocket.A different Indian doctor came and said that the scan had not shown any blood clots but a little fluid on her lungs.She was going to be started on antibiotics and she was to remain in Rehab. It was a relief.Will went off to relay events to Danny and Wendi.Marcelle had woken up and was slowly trying to get up out of her chair. It was as if she was moving in slow motion and I was engrossed, but a little concerned. 'Should she be doing that?' I wondered."Sit down Marcelle!" said a disembodied voice. She did....in slow motion.Dulcie had moved onto her trifle.'She is not going to eat her soup then,' I thought......but she did, after the trifle. It looked exactly the same as the beef broth at lunch but she ate most of it too.It was hard to leave her but she looked tired  and needed to rest. She hung onto both our hands for awhile.She wanted her sleeping pills. We told her to buzz for the nurse if she had any pain or if she needed anything."Hey, and if anyone asks what happened to that bread roll," I said, " say nothing!""I won't tell." She said blowing us a kiss.Today Shirley came up from Maclean. She was happy to be here to see her Mum and we were happy to have her here too. There are three back in the house.We went at 11.00 as that is the earliest you can go to Rehab as usually the morning is taken up with Physio and stuff.Dulcie looked ok but was tired.They came to get her out of bed for physio but pulled the curtain round her so we went down to the common room while they worked with her.Shirley said "Did you see that determination in her eyes when she saw them coming?"When we went back she was back in bed but we stayed while she had lunch, ham salad and pea and ham soup...in that order. She really perked up but then they put her on a nebuliser. It was noisy and steamy and poor Dulcie did not enjoy it at all as she breathed deeply with her head rocking backwards and forwards. Not only was it an ordeal for her but it was hard for us to watch. When she was back on an even keel we went off for our own lunches.Again this evening we went back and found Wendi there too. Dulcie was already eating her tea....sausages, mash and vegetables."It's the kind of tea you make,Ma" said Will."Yes, but it's not got shallots in the mash," I said."It's not as good as your mash, Nick," she said.Nina came and gave us the speech she should have given us yesterday as a welcome to Rehab but said they were still concerned about her breathing. While she spoke a very tiny person, an oompaloompa nurse, was fiddling with Dulcie's cannula and fixing her up to the antibiotic. Nina kept directing her talk alternately at me and the "Get Well Soon" card on the shelf above Dulcie's bed. I became so conscious that I was the last person she should have been talking too that I stopped looking at her in the hope she would look at someone else.Danny arrived and we were all there, hovering around her bed. She got a bit short of breath and we got a nurse who just said "relax and stop talking. Concentrate on your breathing."Will, Wendi and I wandered off to the common room while Shirley combed her hair and Danny talked to her.We went back a little later just to say goodbye and leave her to rest.Rehab will be good....if she can just get her breathing back as it was.

Hopes Scrambled!

Someone got the chicken job!.......We saw him today.....and he saw us!He was good!.......He was born to be a chicken!

Rehab Rollercoaster.

Dulcie has been moved to rehab and is fine but....the day has not been without it's ups and downs and I am too tired to relate it now...check back later for a fuller account.

The International Day Of Happiness!

Today is The International Day of Happiness.Will is still struggling with a bad cold. He was not happy.I have been painting the shelves in the kitchen and did half yesterday so this morning started the other half. When I had given them their first coat I went off up to the hospital on my own to see Dulcie.She was sat in a chair between her bed and the window, the oxygen mask was on andshe was dozing. I sat on the bed quietly and  waited. She was asleep for about 10 minutes before she opened her eyes."How long have you been sat there, Nick?""Only about 10 minutes," I said.There was a protein drink on her table."What's this?" I said."I don't know," she said.The man-woman, who had not gone home said "They're lovely."Dulcie drank it with the straw....in one long suck. She liked it."Ask for more of them," I said. "Look what I brought..." and I pulled out the pack of cards. "Do you fancy a game?""Yes" she said."Just because you are in hospital doesn't mean I'm not going to try and beat you!" I warned."I don't want any sympathy," she said.I won the first hand. Will texted to see if it was a good time to ring. I rang him on my mobile and held it up to her ear. They had a quick chat."We're playing cards dear, yes, he's won the first hand already."When he'd gone we carried on but my phone buzzed in my pocket.It was a text from Will....'I love you sooooo much....You are wonderful!'I sent back "Shhhh! We're playing cards."We played about 4 hands before dinner arrived.I had gone especially for meal time because the first couple of times we had been there at meal times she had had cups of tea or coffee with her meal and I am scared she will spill it on herself and also sometimes she finds it hard to cut things up. She had no hot drink with lunch and there was nothing that needed cut up.She tucked in and after a few bites said..."What is this shit, Nick?""Butter chicken," I said looking at the menu slip."There's no butter in it!" She said. She didn't eat all the chicken but ate all the rice and vegetables."They've given me coffee but no hot water," said the man-woman. I went in search of hot water for her. A nurse took the cup off me and said she would bring it.Dulcie had moved onto peaches and custard but stopped eating and held onto her mask and breathed the oxygen heavily. The custard seemed to be clogging up her throat.She has not had a cigarette for 6 days now. She says she has not missed them and does not intend to have one again. I am not sure but it might be part of the reason why she is coughing up a lot of phlegm.Having lunch had tired her out so we did not finish the card game.The 'curry' woman and the other vomiter had gone.....been sent home while the two people, Dulcie and the man-woman, who had been eating well were both still stuck in hospital.I left Dulcie to rest and went back to finish the shelves with their second coat of paint.I went back for tea time at 5.00pm. She was back in bed. She said she wasn't hungry when I told her tea would be coming soon but she ate the beef pasta.She began to cough before she finished it and struggling to breathe, got a bit panicky. I went to find a nurse but was told by someone behind the desk that the best thing to do was press the call button by her bed. I did and a nurse soon came. Dulcie had calmed  down a bit but the nurse sat her up a bit more and chatted with us awhile.Dulcie did not eat her chicken soup or chocolate cake after that .When she had settled down I said, "Well, I might head off and have my tea."She took my hand and said "Just hold my hand for a bit until I fall asleep."She closed her eyes and lay back....I turned away from her because my eyes had filled up and didn't want to get caught crying......because, after all, it was the International Day of Happiness.

Dulcie Update.

Will has come down with a bad cold so did not come with me this evening to see Dulcie.She was pretty fed up this evening but that is only to be expected. She was not attached to the drip and was sat more upright but this is probably to help with her breathing. She ate most of her tea, silverside, mash, cabbage beans and carrots and leek and potato soup....and 'curry' woman was able to eat her tea too....without vomiting....she just had sandwiches but covered her sheets in pepper.I didn't see what the man-woman in the bed next door to Dulcie had for her-his tea but he-she is perhaps going home tomorrow.I said we were having a 'pan-stew' for tea....she proceeded to tell me the recipe for it."I love soup," she said tucking into her leek and potato."Me too!" I said.She reminded me of the beef bones in the freezer under the house and then told me the recipe for making beef broth as if I would remember it.I nearly walked off without her nighty to wash."Don't forget my nighty!" She reminded me.Doh! She's still all there!