Bionic Nan!

"Gentlemen, We can rebuild her. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the World's first Bionic Nan!"After a long day waiting....she was due to go in at 10.00 am but went in at 3.30 pm....and then she was a lot longer in the operating room than we had expected....three and a half hours as opposed to the hour and a half we had been told to expect...Dulcie was out and recovering by 7.30pm. We saw her back in her room at about 8.15 pmShe was still a little confused after the anaesthetic but her memory was not affected. She knew us all around her bed. When I said 'you must hurry home because we are running out of Anzac biscuits!' She told me that there was a box of shortbread biscuits in the cupboard. She's right...there is.Some of her quotes tonight:"I feel good.""Everybody in the hospital smiles.""Nick, there are so many beautiful people in the World!"....(I suspected she was on LSD when she said that!)"Those little red lights keep moving down the ceiling, like little sparks. It's a wonder they don't set things alight!"(Yep!...LSD!)"Some bugger tried to strangle me! He had this thing around my neck and I said you're strangling me...we had such a laugh about it."More news tomorrow after we have seen her in the afternoon.Thank you for your good wishes and thoughts.  

Maggot Apocalypse and other (real) Hallucinations!

It is the strangest thing being in this house without Dulcie.We were up about 8.00 am  ready to wait for news from Danny.Will was making his morning cup of tea and I noticed the floor was covered with rice...except as I stared...... the rice was moving!The kitchen floor was covered with maggots and they seemed to be coming from under the cooker.I looked down at the carpet and there were some wriggling across the carpet in the lounge and on further exploration they were heading down the hall towards the bedrooms.Will swept the ones on the kitchen floor up in the dustpan and put them in the bin.I was crawling around on my hands and knees picking up the ones that had reached the lounge and the hall. We found them under the table, the chairs, the sofa and they seemed to be trying to burrow into the carpet!The ones Will had put in the bin were crawling out again so we had to remove the bin bag and take it out.We pulled out the cooker to investigate but could see nothing and could not tell where they were coming from. We would clear an area but the next time we looked we would see more wriggling on their way. It took about an hour before we could not find any more. We don't know how many escaped but we will know soon enough when the flies hatch.It is a good job we do not believe in omens! It is not a good time to have a 'maggot omen' ,whatever it could mean!We heard from Danny 'mid-demaggotation', the Surgeon had been to see Dulcie, who had been all prepped and ready for the op, but he had gone away and consulted with a few people and had decided that he could not risk fixing the leg with a metal rod/plate for fear her bones would not be strong enough to take it. She is therefore going to have a 'half' (?) hip replacement...but not until tomorrow.Apparently there is some concern also about the anaesthetic. They have done tests and the anaesthetist was surprised to find that Dulcie's results were similar to those of the average 70 year old.We were not surprised.Anyway they have decided that she will have an epidural and be awake for the operation rather than being knocked out.Danny and Wendi went to visit her about lunchtime and then came over to Celtis St. They said she was fine and in good spirits. We chatted for awhile about the possible implications of all this and changes that may need to be made but nothing final was decided until we wait and see how tomorrow goes.Will and I went over to see her about 2.30.I think she was dozing and mumbling in her sleep but she opened her eyes when we went in.She said she could feel no pain at all and we could tell she was on some good 'stuff!'She was a bit breathless talking to us at first but she had pulled the oxygen tubes out of her nose. Will put them back in and after awhile she seemed to find it easier to talk.She pointed at the smoke detector on the ceiling and another circular contraption."In the night,' she said 'those things slide across the ceiling and then come back.'Will and I looked at them and then at each other and then back at the ceiling. There was no way they would move...ever.She pointed at the TV hanging from the ceiling."What's that bit of rag sticking out behind the television?"It was the electrical testing label, on the electric cable, to say that it was fit to use."In the dark it looks like a little magpie."O.....K.....we thought.A doctor came in and she removed the cannula that had stopped working and said that someone would be along soon to fit another. She was very nice and very gentle with Dulcie.When we were alone again Dulcie said"That radio comes on in the morning," we looked in the direction she was indicating but we could see no radio. There was the drip pump machine, but no radio."It says 'Horse!' 'Horse!'"We looked at each other."I think they want you to say the first thing that comes into your head," she went on, "So I say 'Ploughing!' 'Ploughing!'."At this point I had dissolved in to fits of giggles and put my head down to and tried to hide the fact that I was laughing uncontrollably. I don't know how Will managed to stay serious."Really?" He said, " like a word association game?"Another doctor arrived to fit the new cannula. She started looking for suitable veins. Dulcie's skin is paper thin but her veins are hard to find. She asked Dulcie a few questions."Are you on oxygen at home?"Dulcie said."No Dear! But it's a different lifestyle." Will was laughing with me this time."Well you may have lost your hip, but you haven't lost your sense of humour," said the doctor.The first attempt at fitting a cannula on Dulcie's arm failed and she had to try again on Dulcie's wrist. The second attempt worked. Will could not look. He hates needles!"You may feel a prick," said the doctor."I won't feel anything, Dear," said Dulcie, pulling a funny face at me.When she'd gone. Dulcie said she had not missed her cigarettes."It might be a good time to give them up then," said Will."I might," she said, then looking up at the ceiling added, "those things are moving now. Can you see them?"We looked. They weren't moving."It might be the drugs," I said."And I can see that little bird peeping," she said looking at the TV."It's a lovely colour of blue, that door, isn't it?"We decided to get going as she was getting a bit tired."Any jobs for me?" I asked before we went."No dear, as long as you did that watering yesterday."I had.We said we would see her again tomorrow after her operation.We left her looking at the ceiling."It must be the drugs," she was saying.

Driving to see Miss Dulcie!

So.....at 8.00am this morning we were awakened by a phone call. It was Dulcie. She had had a fall but Danny was there with her and was sorting things out.We had a quick breakfast and started packing up. Wendi rang with a bit more information. It seems she had got up to go to the loo and had put her hand out to lean on the bedroom door beside the toilet and it swung open and she went down. Danny had taken her to hospital.We headed back to Brisbane.Wendi rang again just before we arrived in Brisbane. Dulcie had had an x-ray and they could not see any broken bones on it but they had sent her for a scan as well and they were waiting for the results of the scan.Just after we arrived back at Celtis St, Joanne, next door, came out, while we were unpacking the car, to see if we had any news.We told her what Wendi had said about the x-ray. Joanne told us that she had fallen at about 3.00am and she hadn't phoned her and Danny until 7.00am this morning."Why didn't she ring me earlier?" she said.She said that she didn't want Danny to phone for an ambulance but she said that Danny and her had found it really difficult to get Dulcie dressed without causing her pain . In the end Danny just rang for an ambulance and  got her to the hospital. Just after we got in the house Wendi rang again. The scan had shown a compacted fracture of her left upper leg. She was going to have to have surgery but not until tomorrow.Will rang Danny and he was on his way back to Celtis St to get her some things.When he came he said she was sitting in her chair when had arrived in the morning and Joanne was with her. He told us that she had wanted to go to her doctor rather than the hospital. He told us how hard it had been to get her to the bedroom to get her dressed and she had wanted him to help her get down the steps. He just rang an ambulance. He said he had left her in Emergency but they were waiting to take her up to a ward.Danny had a list of things she wanted. We collected her nightly, medication, toothbrush and toothpaste and two different night creams.We went back with Danny to the hospital. She was still in Emergency waiting to go up to the ward. She had a drip in her arm and oxygen tubes in her nostrils and she looked so thin and frail."How are you darling?" she said to Will."Never mind me, how are you?" he said.She doesn't like hospitals...who does? She had only ever stayed in hospital before when she had had her children. The thought of the operation was obviously worrying her. She said that she had never had so much pain.After she fell she crawled back to her bed and climbed in and lay awake from 3 until 7 before she rang Danny and Joanne. She had hobbled from her bed to the phone using a walking stick...with a compacted  fracture!The Emergency Department looked brand new and was very modern. The staff we saw were lovely. Dulcie said they had been very good and that the 'boys' in the ambulance had been lovely.Eventually the porter came and wheeled her up to the ward. We followed behind.They put her in a room of her own and we went and waited in a waiting area until they had sorted her out then we were allowed into see her again.They gave her some painkillers to help with the pain but as she is already on her strong morphine patches for her back it wasn't really working. In the end they gave her a shot of morphine.Danny had spoken with the nurse and said that it seemed that the surgeon would be in about 7.00 am in the morning. He said that apparently he was a surgeon at a private hospital but worked in this hospital pro bono and he is really good.The 'afternoon tea' woman came round."What would you like darlin'? Tea or coffee?""I'll have whatever is going?" said Dulcie, not wanting to be a problem."You can have tea or coffee," said the woman. She had tea, black with a little sugar.She didn't like being on her back. She said she had lain on her sore leg in the bed last night."I can't sleep on my back" she said.She didn't like the oxygen tubes in her nose or the plastic tags on her arm.It is going to be a difficult time for her for awhile and she is just going to have to do as she is told.The morphine shot was starting to take effect and she said the pain was easing finally. We left her to get some rest but not before she had given me detailed instructions on watering under the house at the front and down the sides because of the black soil which can crack and cause the house to sink and which plants needed some water.Even from her hospital bed she has me under control! I don't care...I did it as soon as I got back.We are to ring back at 9.00 in the morning and we will take it from there.

Witchetty Grub!

Will found this today when he was chopping up some logs for the fire....

It is the larvae of a beetle. It is well known bush food and handy when there is nothing else to eat in the desert.It tastes like scrambled egg...apparently....so think of that next time you have it.

Mmmmmmmm!

Not welcome....so near to my bed!

I took it out in the wine glass covered by a piece of card. It was dark outside so took my head torch and walked way out across the garden and away from the house. When it came to letting it go I needed three hands....one for the glass, one for the piece of card and one for the head torch. I put the torch in my mouth, took away the card and shook the glass....I tried to direct the torch with my mouth to see if the glass was empty....the light picked out the spider sitting on the hand that was holding the glass....I cried out and dropped the glass and shook my hand vigourously....grabbed the torch from my mouth and scoured the ground and found it running off. I retrieved the glass and returned inside.