Delirium!

I have had better days and so has Dulcie.As soon as I arrived at the hospital today I could tell something was not right. She was in her chair but still in her nighty and she completely blanked me and did not acknowledge my arrival."Why are you not dressed?""I just didn't have time, Nick. " She was idly  fiddling with the tube going into her arm which was administering the antibiotic."It's rained a lot in the night. We had 36 mm!" I said."Yes, I saw the ants running across my bed," she said."It's starting to rain now.""Yes," she said, "I can see it running down that hill," pointing out of the ward.She turned to the empty chair next to her and said,"Why don't you go make yourself a cup of coffee Dan? Mum can't at the moment but you know where everything is."My heart started to break.She thought she was at home which explained a little why she had not been surprised to see me."What happened to the big TV?" She asked me. "It was Danny's.""It's still at home," I said.She smiled, "Oh yes, I keep thinking I am at home."Her lunch came. She ate all of it. I sat on her bed."Is that a rat?" She asked."Where?" I said."There next to you on the end of the bed.""No, it's just the machine that regulates the air in your mattress," I said.She finished her lunch and pushed the table away and prepared to stand up."No," I said, "You have got to stay sat down. You are not to get up without the nurse."Joanne from next door arrived. I knew she was coming and had intended to go home when she arrived but I just did not like leaving her like this.I warned Joanne out of the side of my mouth, quietly,  that she was  a little confused today, but Dulcie and Joanne chatted away happily and she seemed ok again until she asked where Wendi went."She came yesterday," I said."Oh, yes," she said. She told Joanne that she had got confused and thought she was at home and told her about asking me about the TV. She shook her head smiling at her own mistake.She prepared to get up again saying "Move up Joanne, I'll sit next to you on the bed."She actually stood right up and I had to sit her back down.I took the opportunity while Joanne was there to go and chat to the nurse.Nina was sat behind the desk. I asked her about Dulcie's confusion. She was unsure and looked for the doctor but he was not in his office. I had spoken to him yesterday and he was as useful as Nina was turning out to be today. She passed me onto another nurse...the one who had been running around like a loony doing everything since I had arrived, as she was the one who was dealing most with Dulcie but she had no answers either and was very busy and dashed off somewhere else.I went back in to the ward."Is that Shirley, playing outside with those children Nick?" she asked."No, it's a bit noisy out there but there are no children and it is not Shirley. She went home yesterday remember.""Oh, yes," she said," it just sounded like Shirley though.""Is Danny coming back?" She asked."He might be in later," I said.Joanne had to go. I told her I was going to stay until Dulcie was safely back in bed or the Physios came.She was down on the board for Physiotherapy at 1.00 pm. At 2.00 I told her not to move from the chair."I promise," she said, "and I don't break my promises."I went to find a nurse. I got to the door and the little nurse who had been running around since I got there was just sitting down. She sank into the chair exhausted and stared blankly into the distance."I'm sorry, " I said as I approached, "but could you put Dulcie back in bed. I have to go and she keeps on trying to get out of her chair.""Oh!" she said, jumping up, finding some energy from somewhere.She put Dulcie back in bed and tucked her in.I lent over to give her a kiss on the fore head."What's that dear? " she said, looking into the distance ".....yes, I am tired."My heart broke some more.I drove home worn out and very worried. I wanted Will to come home from work.There were more flies waiting to be swatted, and the washing I had hung out had been soaked by a few heavy showers.I went down to bring it in and Joanne came out from next door."They are so lucky to have you," she said, "You are marvellous with her." It was all I could do not to burst into tears there and then.I held it in until I was hanging the wet clothes up under the house.When Will came home we went back just before tea-time."How did you track me down?" She asked.She was just the same."Look at that cat there...it's like the one Danny had."Her tea arrived."No, dear," she said " to the porter, "I've had my tea."He looked hesitant. I took the tray off him.She ate most of it but left the soup and the banana."I'll take that banana home and have it for breakfast." She said.I nipped to the loo just at the moment that the doctor I had spoken to yesterday came to ask how things were.When I got back he and Will were chatting outside the ward.Will went off to make phone calls after speaking to the doctor. Dulcie wanted to go to the loo. Two nurses came to help her. They pulled the curtains round. Another nurse arrived with the phone...a call for Dulcie. She took it behind the curtain.It was Liam her grandson."Hello? Yes dear, They are just getting ready to take me home, dear. They are taking me home in the truck."I heard the nurse say,"Can I have the phone Dulcie?" Then I heard her say, "I am sorry,Dulcie is a little confused at the moment. We are just taking her to the toilet. Can you call back in 10 minutes?"Poor Liam!Will finally told me what the doctor had said on our way out.He must have gone away and done some research since I asked him about her hallucinations. He told Will that it was "Delirium" brought on probably by body stress and also because of the cortisone she was being given. We learned she also had a urinary tract infection and this also could be a cause. He said that we were not to stress about it and that eventually when she comes off the antibiotics it should improve.I suddenly had a thought and we went back in to see the doctor again and tell him about her attempts to stand up earlier in the day and ask that she not be left in her chair unattended until her confusion ends.It has been a difficult and worrying day but we are relieved to hear what the doctor has said.We want 'our' Dulcie back.

'Here come the flies!'

I woke with a bit of a sore throat and began to wonder what to do about hospital visits today.I went with Will to work and brought Roxy back.It is just over a week since 'Maggot Apocalypse' and I noticed a few flies about the living room and kitchen. I got Dulcie's fly swat and relieved them of their life.I asked Shirley what she thought I should do about my sore throat. We decided I would go but not go too near to Dulcie.Shirley had special dispensation to go in at 10.00 am as she was going back to Maclean today. I took her in and popped in with her to see Dulcie. There were a few other visitors around so they are not really that strict on enforcing visiting times.Dulcie had just finished her shower and was sat finishing getting dressed in the chair by her bed."I had one of your anzacs" she said, "it was beautiful....but take the others because my teeth are a bit sore when I eat them."I left Shirley and Dulcie and went off to a seated area by the lifts.There was a 'Traveller' magazine on the table with the headline..."35 Best Bucket List Destinations."....not really ideal reading material for a hospital really.....or is it?After about 30 minutes Paula, Shirley's daughter in law arrived to see Dulcie and then take Shirley back home. I showed her down to the ward.She showed Dulcie some pictures of her great grandchildren and how they were growing up.She is still seeing things and we are still worried about that. Today before we arrived she had seen lots of animals running around, the smallest children she had ever seen and a little dog sat up on Marcelle's TV. Maybe she is dreaming, maybe it is still the aftermath of the anaesthetic or the painkillers she is on. Shirley was happy with the progress Dulcie had made in the days she had been up to visit and promised to come back soon, but her departure was marred by worry about her mum's visions.I left with them to help hand over Shirley's luggage. Hopefully she will be back in just over a week.I drove home with a list of things to do but as soon as I went in grabbed the fly swat and swung it madly. I must have killed about 50! There was us thinking we had done well last week in picking up all those maggots....how wrong we were.I collected the stuff Dulcie wanted, some three-quarter length pants ironed....(I ironed them, flat no creases as instructed!), found the cream she wanted and another box of tissues then left the house to the flies and headed back to help her with lunch.She was back in bed but still dressed and was looking more like herself.A doctor came to put in a new cannula.'Hmmmm,' I thought, 'how can I ask him about her seeing things with out her knowing?'I failed miserably....."Hallucinations," I said " are they normal a week after an operation?"He was not very helpful really. I wanted him to say emphatically "Oh Yes!" But he didn't.He said it might be her medication, or because of the lung infection but did not think it was the anaesthetic.He was very good at putting a cannula in anyway and did it first time which is more than some others have managed. He said he would take to some people and look at her medication.Her lunch arrived and she did her best."Do you want this soup and just take it and hide behind that curtain, Nick?""What and get thrown out for stealing your food?.....No thanks!" I said.She ate her soup.A nurse came to hook her up to the antibiotics....she just carried on eating while they fiddled with her arm.After lunch Kirrily arrived, the Occupational Therapist for a chat."Are you her son?""No, her son's partner," I said."He's a friend of my son's," said Dulcie."I want a little chat with you Dulcie, do you mind if Nick stays?""Of course not!," she said, "He's family."Kirrily was lovely and wanted to set out some goals for Dulcie. She asked all about life before the fall and what Dulcie used to do...I chipped in a bit too much probably but was trying to give Kirrily the real picture.They decided that Dulcie could go home when she could get up the 13 steps to the house with help from another person, but she was clear she wanted to be able to shower and toilet herself without help. She wanted to go back to doing cooking and so Kirrily said that they would do some cooking activities then as part of her rehab stay. There were 3 things Dulcie had to remember not to do: cross her legs, twist in any way and lift her knee higher than her hip. It all sounded really good. Later Kirrily was going to come to the house, maybe on a visit with Dulcie to have a look and make suggestions for necessary changes. She gave me a list of things to measure the height of  at home and left."She was lovely wasn't she?," I said."Yes," said Dulcie, "but there are a couple of bitches!"We practised remembering the 3 things she could not do. I left at nearly 2.00 pm to go for my own lunch. She waved and blew me a kiss and picked up 'Bill the Bastard'.Back home I swatted more  newly hatched flies before making myself a sandwich. Then I got out the hoover and hoovered up all the carcases before having a shower.I didn't even have time to sit down before Will texted for me to go and pick him up.On the way, Shirley texted to say she was home.We went back over to the hospital about 5.30 pm. She was finishing her tea and was really enjoying it.When she was finished I held up 3 fingers and she said;"Not cross my legs, keep my knee down and don't wiggle." It was a good try.I'd left her on page 45 of 'Bill the Bastard' and now she was on page 91!Danny and Wendi arrived so Will and I came home to the House of Flies.There were none....Phew! We were too tired to swat if there had been.

'El Nino is coming!'

We were up at 6.30 am.....on a Sunday?......I know! Madness!Will wanted to head across town to the Northey St Organic Market.Shirley was excited to go through the Clem 7 tunnel.The markets were in a small park next to the Northey St City Farm.There were buskers playing amongst the stalls which were mostly selling organic fruit and vegetables.We had hardly started to wander the stalls before some woman accosted Will. He was wearing his "Save the Mullet" tee-shirt.'It's good fish that.....but you can't get it here anymore."Shirley said she could get it where she lived."Oh, you are from Maclean?".....and she told us all about her relatives that lived in the area down there before she wandered off.We looked around the stalls but bought nothing. We wandered around the Edible Landscapes Nursery and Shirley bought Will a Kang Kong plant.We went for a coffee and hot chocolate at the outdoor cafe area surrounded by the bohemian clientele. Will was at the counter when a man came up to ask what the plant was."It's a King Kong or a Kang King or something," I said."Oh," he said, then added ominously "they say El Nino is coming."'Let him come,' I thought, 'but there is no room here at our table for him!'The hot chocolate was ok but Will and Shirley thought the coffee was dreadful....and bitter.Behind us was an Iridologist....she could give you a health check for $25 by just looking at your iris!I didn't see anybody taking her up on that.We wandered back through the market past a stall that was selling milk. A sign above said "For bathing only! "They were selling it in 2 litre bottles!? How many would you have to buy to fill a bath?The markets had a lovely atmosphere as they were spread out under the trees in the park while the sun shone down from the blue sky above. I enjoyed going but don't think I need to go back ever.We came back home and Will took Shirley to the hospital for 11.00 am while I stayed home and made some of 'Dulcie's Famous Anzac Biscuits.'He left her there and came back and started to make biscuits of his own!.....Competition!I picked Shirley up in the early afternoon and popped into see Dulcie. She was looking much better. I took her some of my Anzacs."They look beautiful, Nick," she said."Well, they are a bit chewy, but I like them like that," I said."What's Billy Boy doing? She asked."Well, he's only flippin' making biscuits!" I said. " I thought of it first. I didn't bring you any of his because basically, mine are better."We left her sat up in bed.Shirley was really pleased. She had arranged for her to have a shower tomorrow and get her hair washed. She had been out of bed to the toilet and had sat in her chair for a couple of hours and even read 40 pages of the book Shirley had bought her....'Bill the Bastard!'"That's perfect!" I said....it was about a war horse. Dulcie loves horses and had really enjoyed the film 'War Horse.'We took Shirley back  for tea-time. Dulcie was already half way through her tea when we got there.  We had a quick chat and then left Shirley to spend more time with her and went to pick her up about 7.30 pm.Dulcie is looking much better and Shirley will go home tomorrow happy that things are positively moving forward.But 'Boot Camp' starts tomorrow....Rehab has a gym!And.......don't forget........'El Nino is coming!'

Main, Pudding, Starter?.....so what?....it all ends up in the same place.

So.....yesterday Will was feeling better and we went to see Dulcie at lunchtime.The man-woman had gone from the bed next to her.Chelsea the Physio (student) and her mentor arrived. We thought we would head off for a bit to let them work with her but they said'No, stay and see how she does.'Dulcie manoeuvred herself to the edge of the bed and stood up at the wheeled walking frame and then walked halfway across the ward and back. She wanted to get back in her bed but the Physio (mentor) was firm and persuaded her to sit in her chair for awhile.They brought her lunch and it was fish and potato wedges and looked really good....for hospital food!She ate all the fish and chips but left her vegetables, which she normally eats,  and then ate her beef broth soup....a main then a starter but who cares as long as you get it down you!She was looking good and Will, not having seen her for awhile was pleased with her improvement. She still had the oxygen tubes and was short of breath but she was much more like the Dulcie we know. A nurse said that they were hoping to take her up to Rehab either that afternoon or the following day. It all sounded good.We stayed with her a while and then went off to do some shopping, telling her we would be back later around tea time to see her.At about 5.00pm we arrived at her ward to find her bed gone. We found a nurse who said she had been taken up to Rehab. We asked which ward. The nurse had no idea.We went up in the lift and went to ward 4b. We asked for her at the nurses station. Three doctors were there looking at a computer screen. An indian doctor held out his hand and we introduced ourselves ....I think he said he was Dr Sri. He began to take us to where she was but was telling us he was very concerned about her breathing. He stopped in the corridor and said that she had had some blood tests and he wanted her to go for a CT scan immediately as there was a danger that she might have blood clots on her lungs. Then he broadsided us by asking if she had an Advance health care directive....basically asking us what her wishes would be regarding resuscitation.It was all a bit of a shock after being so pleased with her progress earlier on in the day. And so we found ourselves a few moments later sat by her while he asked her..."if you were to die tonight on the ward Dulcie, would you want to be resuscitated?" He did it very nicely and explained that it was a worse case scenario....but how the day had changed. He explained that when the heart stops for awhile it can affect the brain....Dulcie was clear...she did not want to be brought back if she would have any brain damage."I don't want you to worry about it." He said."Oh, I'm not worried, dear." she said.They came to take her down for the CT Scan. We went with her following the bed, the porter and a nurse and sat on some chairs while they wheeled her in.We could hear they had to get her off her bed onto the machine and then we heard the automated voice saying:"Do not breathe now..............breathe normally now." It repeated about 4 times and we heard a nurse say quite sharply......"Stop moving!"The we heard someone say "Well, Dulcie you've tried everything we have down here now, haven't you?"They wheeled her out on her bed and she was just shaking her head...'torture,' she said.They took her back up to a room nearer the nurses station and not the one that we had first been taken to by Dr Sri.They brought all her things from the other room and  left us with her for awhile.  She was just tired and fed up and wanted to come home. Rehab, she had been told was going to help get her home quicker but had ended up leading to more cannulas and trips to X-ray.Nina the head nurse came and spoke to us and said that it was all a bit out of the ordinary and usually she would be giving us another speech...but that they were waiting for the results of the scan and there was a possibility that she would be moved to ICU. (Intensive Care.) The day seemed to be getting worse.Ros was coming round for tea but we had to cancel that while we waited for news from the doctor. All the kerfuffle had taken place at tea time and she had missed her tea. We asked about it and eventually her tea was brought.It was fish again....but very tough fish...I could hardly cut it."I think it's shark!" I said.She was not hungry but she tucked in.There were four beds in the ward like the one downstairs, Dulcie, by the window , next to her was Ann who was glued to the telly on the ceiling. Opposite Dulcie was Mary....who looked like she'd passed on.....but only turned out to be sleeping. She looked like a frozen chorister with her mouth hanging open in a silent song and her eyes closed. Opposite Ann was Marcelle....wrapped up as if she was in Siberia, again asleep but sat in a chair by her bed her head hanging down on her chest."I can't eat that shit," said Dulcie poking a fork at the fish, "and I'm not eating that," she said pointing at her bread roll in a plastic wrapper."Can I have it?" I asked. I was starving."Yes," she said,"take the butter too." I did and slipped them in my pocket.A different Indian doctor came and said that the scan had not shown any blood clots but a little fluid on her lungs.She was going to be started on antibiotics and she was to remain in Rehab. It was a relief.Will went off to relay events to Danny and Wendi.Marcelle had woken up and was slowly trying to get up out of her chair. It was as if she was moving in slow motion and I was engrossed, but a little concerned. 'Should she be doing that?' I wondered."Sit down Marcelle!" said a disembodied voice. She did....in slow motion.Dulcie had moved onto her trifle.'She is not going to eat her soup then,' I thought......but she did, after the trifle. It looked exactly the same as the beef broth at lunch but she ate most of it too.It was hard to leave her but she looked tired  and needed to rest. She hung onto both our hands for awhile.She wanted her sleeping pills. We told her to buzz for the nurse if she had any pain or if she needed anything."Hey, and if anyone asks what happened to that bread roll," I said, " say nothing!""I won't tell." She said blowing us a kiss.Today Shirley came up from Maclean. She was happy to be here to see her Mum and we were happy to have her here too. There are three back in the house.We went at 11.00 as that is the earliest you can go to Rehab as usually the morning is taken up with Physio and stuff.Dulcie looked ok but was tired.They came to get her out of bed for physio but pulled the curtain round her so we went down to the common room while they worked with her.Shirley said "Did you see that determination in her eyes when she saw them coming?"When we went back she was back in bed but we stayed while she had lunch, ham salad and pea and ham soup...in that order. She really perked up but then they put her on a nebuliser. It was noisy and steamy and poor Dulcie did not enjoy it at all as she breathed deeply with her head rocking backwards and forwards. Not only was it an ordeal for her but it was hard for us to watch. When she was back on an even keel we went off for our own lunches.Again this evening we went back and found Wendi there too. Dulcie was already eating her tea....sausages, mash and vegetables."It's the kind of tea you make,Ma" said Will."Yes, but it's not got shallots in the mash," I said."It's not as good as your mash, Nick," she said.Nina came and gave us the speech she should have given us yesterday as a welcome to Rehab but said they were still concerned about her breathing. While she spoke a very tiny person, an oompaloompa nurse, was fiddling with Dulcie's cannula and fixing her up to the antibiotic. Nina kept directing her talk alternately at me and the "Get Well Soon" card on the shelf above Dulcie's bed. I became so conscious that I was the last person she should have been talking too that I stopped looking at her in the hope she would look at someone else.Danny arrived and we were all there, hovering around her bed. She got a bit short of breath and we got a nurse who just said "relax and stop talking. Concentrate on your breathing."Will, Wendi and I wandered off to the common room while Shirley combed her hair and Danny talked to her.We went back a little later just to say goodbye and leave her to rest.Rehab will be good....if she can just get her breathing back as it was.

Hopes Scrambled!

Someone got the chicken job!.......We saw him today.....and he saw us!He was good!.......He was born to be a chicken!