"Driving Miss Dulcie."

I was up at 6.40 am but did not retch! Normally when I have to get up early my body reacts to the un-natural break in routine and I start retching. I don’t know what is happening to me...perhaps it’s because I am now living upside down.I went with Will to work and drove the car back for today Dulcie and I had a busy morning and needed Roxy. Dulcie was up and ready when I got back at 7.45. She had a doctor’s appointment booked for 9.30 and was not looking forward to it at all. I am pretty sure it was the doctors that she was not looking forward to and not the fact that I would be driving her, but I couldn’t be certain.‘Are you a fast driver, Nick?’ she’d asked at tea yesterday.‘No,’ I said. Will raised his eyebrows in disbelief!I had some breakfast and then we spent some time clock watching. Dulcie went through the jobs we had to do: visit the fruiterer, and the butcher, go to the post office, shopping at Aldi and call at the bank. We looked at the clock, still not time to go. She read out the Aldi shopping list, still not time to go. I took some recycling down under the house and the rubbish out to the bin by the gate and then we sat and watched the clock some more. Finally at 8.45 she said ‘Let’s go!’Will had gone through the route a few times with me and I had checked it out on google maps but I was still pretty nervous as we got into the car. We set off and I drove very carefully, not going too fast, not getting to close to the car in front. I had ‘Dulcie Nav’;“Through these lights, straight ahead, right at the next lights...”The lights were against us. I ended up having to stop at every flippn’ set practically and a few times had to resist the urge to put my foot down and dash through.We arrived at the shopping precinct where the doctor’s was at 9.09 am.“We’ll go get the veggies,” she said.She linked my arm and we got the bag of oranges, a sugar loaf cabbage, a sweet potato and half a jap pumpkin. She likes her jap pumpkin. It’s the only thing that disappoints her about Aldi’s. They don’t sell jap pumpkin. I took the shopping back to the car while she waited on a bench and then we walked to the doctor’s.She had made them some biscuits. She always takes them a tin of her biscuits when she goes. They know her very well but when she had been making the appointment the other day she had had to spell out her name to the ‘new’ receptionist...three times! Dulcie was not impressed.As we got to the door she said ‘Oh it’s her!...D...U...L...C...I...E!”We went in.The new receptionist was sat behind the desk and an older lady was standing over her.“Hello, Dulcie” said the older lady and then went back to instructing the new receptionist about something.( I later found out from Dulcie that the older woman is called Glad.)I left her in the doctor’s and went to the post office to pay the water bill. When I got back to the doctor’s Dulcie was not in the waiting room so must have gone into see the doctor. Glad looked up as I walked in.“I’ll just wait here for Dulcie,” I said. Glad nodded and continued to chat to another woman customer sat in the waiting room. They were bemoaning the cost of parking at hospitals in the area. They looked at me a few times to try and draw me in but I didn’t feel qualified to comment so just kept on reading the posters; ‘The symptoms of whooping cough’,  ‘Do you have shingles?’, ‘Can’t get rid of that cough?...No?..you’re going to die then aren’t you!’They started sharing tales of how they had had to make complaints against hospitals for one reason or another. I was still not qualified to join in. The phone rang and the new receptionist answered it. Glad went back to check on her and the other customer picked up a magazine.‘We support stopping smoking’ said another poster. ‘Having to rush for a wee? It’s not normal. We can help,’ exclaimed another.Glad finished instructing and came back to chat to the customer and they started sharing their ‘induced coma’ stories. Flippin’ heck! If it had been their experience with Pancreatitis I’d be laughing!The conversation flagged and then the customer said;‘So when do you leave?’It became clearer. Glad was leaving and she was shadowing/training the new receptionist.“Friday, hopefully,” she said but she pulled a face which the new receptionist could not see and which I and the other customer took to mean ‘but probably not because this twit needs a lot of help!’‘And what are your plans?’ asked the customer.‘Well, firstly get my will sorted out,’ said Glad.Yikes! I thought she must have a cough she can’t get rid of!“I need to do some cleaning. I need to get my eldest daughter over as well. Do you know she has 10 boxes piled up in her old room full of clothes. I’m going to say to her ‘for my Christmas present do you think you could you sort these?”I was getting drawn in. When Glad went on to say she had a friend who was 70 and the only way she could get into her son’s room, because it was so cluttered with stuff, was through the window, I smiled...that was it, I was now involved. They were looking at me as they were talking.  What could I say?..What could I contribute?...I could feel my blood pressure going up...and I knew that was not good because another poster had warned me about it. Just when the situation was getting critical Dulcie appeared and I was rescued.Dulcie had to sign something and then Glad leaned over the counter took her hand and said;“I’m leaving, Dulcie, but don’t worry Marie will still be here and our new receptionist, here, will look after you.’“I had to spell my name out three times!’ said Dulcie indignantly.The new receptionist looked abashed and started to explain but Glad went on, cutting her off...“My husband died in September, and I have so much to sort out.” She came round the counter and gave Dulcie a big hug.“I’m very sorry” said Dulcie, “it happens to us all.” Men always die first seemed to be the message I was hearing. I was a bit uncomfortable about that.We left taking the empty biscuit tin with us.We called at the butchers for 6 pork chops and then it was back to Roxy and we headed off to Aldi. The ‘Dulcie Nav’ was starting to falter;“Are these the lights we turn at?”They were the right lights. I remember from looking at google maps.Dulcie chose the parking spot at Aldi;“That space there, under the tree.”We spent quite a long time looking at cereal. She picked a packet up, looked at it and then handed it to me saying “does it have iron in it?”“Yes,” I  said.“But it’s bloody 99% fat free!” she said, “and  I need all the fat I can get!”We got everything on the shopping list and headed back to the car. As I was packing the car I suddenly realised I didn’t know how to get back. I had checked out the route to the doctors and the route from the doctors to Aldi, but nor the route home. I just trusted my sense of direction and it worked out fine. We had one more stop before home...the bank.There was an empty parking space right by the door. Dulcie was happy with that. She linked my arm and we walked in. It was quiet. There were only two windows open and they both had customers being attended to, but we stood right by the ‘queue here’ sign.“Look at the arse on that!” Dulcie said out of the side of her mouth, looking at one of the customers leaning on the counter ahead. I laughed out loud! You could hardly miss it.The boss came out of a door behind the counter and opened up a new window.“Oh, we’ve got Bruce,” said Dulcie. We walked over.“Hello Bruce,” she said. I think he came out especially to serve her. I wondered what he thought of me. I may be a pussycat on the inside but on the outside I could pass for a nightclub bouncer!Later on after lunch, I drove on my own over to the local pharmacy to pick up her prescriptions.“Ah,’ smiled the pharmacist, ‘These are for Mrs Rodgers!’It’s absolutely true!Dulcie really is a legend!

Got by the Glochids!

We forgot to bring some of the delicious mandarins from Frogknot back to Brisbane but Will did bring back 2 of the prickly pears he found in the garden.You are probably not surprised to learn that the prickly pear is an invasive plant species introduced from Brazil in 1788 for use as a natural agricultural fence and as a dye. It quickly spread and in 1925 a moth Cactoblastis cactorum was brought in, also from South America, whose larvae feed on the prickly pears and the plant was almost wiped out.I tried the fruit at Frogknot. Will handed me a spoonful of the bright red fruit scooped from the prickly pear. It was quite pleasant but a bit tart for me.Today Dulcie and I stood in the cool of the air-conditoned kitchen happily watching Will bringing in the washing from the 30 degree heat of the garden. I looked down and by the sink was a plastic box holding the pair of purple pears. They didn’t look prickly; in fact their skin looked perfectly smooth. I reached out and picked one up...big mistake!You would have thought I would have learned by now that nothing is as it seems here on Danger Island!The Glochids got me!Glochids are the tiny, and on this prickly pear, almost invisible hair-like spines that penetrate the skin of unsuspecting British numpties!Attacked by a fruit!I had to scrape the skin on my fingers and palms of my hand with a scourer to get most of them out but every now and again... I still feel a prick!

Back to Brisbane.

Rat Run!

I had the worst night’s sleep, so far, last night but I don’t know why. I was really tired. Will was in bed first. I was writing ‘Clearing Out!’ for the blog and wanted to finish it.When I was finished I unplugged everything except the rat repellers but they wouldn't work. I don’t think they were drawing enough power from the battery but I didn't want to plug anything else in, in case I then drained the battery. Such are the considerations I now have to make in my new life!I crept under the net and snuggled down and I cannot have been lying there quietly more than two minutes before I heard rattlings and skitterings coming from the kitchen area. I ignored it and tried to go to sleep...but couldn't. Whenever there was a particularly loud clatter I would shine my head torch in the general direction and things would go quiet but as soon as I switched it off, the noises would start again!At one point it sounded like something was being dragged and I began to wonder if it was something bigger than a rat! Could it be a possum?Finally I could stand it no longer. I crept quietly out from under the net. I didn't want to light my head torch until the last moment so left it off and tiptoed, barefoot, round the piano until I was in a good position to view the kitchen. I could still hear rustlings in the darkness ahead. I braced myself and switched on the torch.Something with a long tail bolted towards the door. It was a rat but it was a bit smaller than the rats I have seen in the UK.There was a slight gap under the back door but I had stuffed some dirty tea towels in it before I got into bed. The rat headed to the door and disappeared.Foiled!I went to have a closer look and found a small circular tunnel, that I had not noticed before, heading underground. I stuffed one of Will’s empty beer bottles in it, firmly, and got back in bed.I lay there, triumphant, for about 5 minutes before the rustling started again! It had another way in! Defeated I turned over and tried to get to sleep again...but couldn't!I got out my phone and googled ‘bush rats’ and was convinced I had found the culprit!The noises continued so I decided it was time to chance draining the battery and switch the sonic repellers on. I crept out of bed again and waited until the last minute to switch on my torch. As soon as the light flashed on the rat shot towards the back door but found the hole blocked by the beer bottle. It leapt into the air and headed back straight towards me! I didn't lift my leg fast enough and it skidded into my bare foot, leapt again (I thought it was attacking me!) then fled back again and disappeared under the fridge.I couldn't see where it had gone. I put the sonic repellers right in the centre of the kitchen area and switched them on. Nothing! I plugged Will’s mobile phone in to charge and the sonic repellers started flashing. Success!I got back in bed and tried to sleep...but couldn't.The noises started again about ten minutes later.Round one to the rat!..but like Wily Coyote, I will not give up!Bring on round 2!

Clearing Out! (introducing Gordon the Gecko.)

(This post is brought to you in association with Bent Road Winery : http://bentroadwine.com.au/   )Did you ever watch ‘How Clean is Your House’ with Kim and Aggie?They would have a ball here at Frogknot!I’m not saying it is a dirty old hovel because it is not. It has just gathered a little dust, a fair few cobwebs and is in need of some care and attention. It has a wonderful feel about it, even as it crumbles and those of you who have visited will know what a special place it is, special if a little untidy! All around the house, under the verandah and around the back are just piles of junk and old decaying furniture which needed to go and today was the day to do it!

 

Destined for the tip!

We put the seats down in Roxy and lined her with a tarpaulin to keep her tidy and started filling plastic bins with all manner of rubbish. Will went through the old cupboard that stood outside at the corner of the house where we found the mushrooms, and had a pile of things to keep and bins of stuff to dump.Late morning we were visited by Glen and Robert. They kindly brought their trailer for us to use. Glen and Robert own Bent Road Winery, down the road at Ballandean. We shared some chat, gossip and some of Dulcie’s biscuits before they left.With Roxy loaded we went down to the local waste dump at Glen Aplin on a trial run and found that the dumping of large items and furniture was prohibited. We know that lots of other people ignore that and we were tempted too but decided that we would take all the bulkier items to the Stanthorpe tip.We went back to Frogknot and had lunch then loaded up the trailer with an old sofa bed, the ‘mushroom’ cupboard, 2 lawnmowers and a variety of other junk and headed off to Stanthorpe Refuse Tip.

We were halfway down the drive when Will stopped the car and said ‘I’ve forgotten my wallet. We might need to pay to dump stuff.’I said I would run back and get it. I headed back up the road. As always I was on ‘King Brown alert and at the top of the hill noticed some large red ants on the ground. I kept on going but noticed they deliberately changed direction to run at me. Heck! I thought they might be Fire Ants!I got the wallet and headed back. Sure enough at the top of the hill there were the red ants again and again they aggressively headed towards me! They couldn’t catch me though.I asked Will what they were when I got back in the car. He said they were Bull Ants.http://australianmuseum.net.au/Bull-ants(As you would expect...they are quite nasty!)We arrived at the tip and noticed a large price list for dumping certain items. We had to drive through a large covered warehouse type building and here we were flagged down by a chap in Day-Glo orange. It was his job to check over everything that was brought in. He seemed more interested in what he could salvage from us than checking if we were dumping anything illegal. The warehouse had a store area that was full of stuff that people had brought to the tip which this fellow had rescued and was now selling it. I thought he might have wanted the lawn mowers but he didn’t.‘What about that big water container?’ he asked.‘Oh, it’s got a crack in the bottom,’ said Will.‘So have I,’ he said wittily, ‘but I’m ok.’He directed us to the different dumping areas for metal, wood and landfill and we duly visited each one and added to their piles.

At the landfill dump we picked up a lovely rug and a pair of shorts for Will and sneaked them out past the Day-Glo comedian.Back at Frogknot we loaded up the trailer again, with a gas fridge, a very heavy kerosene fridge, a washing machine and an old water boiler. The fridges and the washer we had to drag to the trailer but the boiler we rolled there. As we were about to lift it up a gecko fell out and just sat there. Gordon, for it was he, was missing his tail from some misadventure but you could see that a new one was growing.  I think it must have been dizzy from rolling over and over because we were able to get very close to it. I was a little wary at first half expecting it to suddenly roar like a lion or spit venom or even leap up and sink its teeth into my nose but it just sat there. In the end I had to pick it up to move it out of the way. I was worried we would stand on it or it would head into the shade under Roxy and get run over.

  

Gordon the Gecko

We piled three old armchairs into the trailer as well and headed back to the tip. Will tried to interest Day-Glo Orange man in one of the armchairs.‘It is retro,’ he said but it ended up as landfill with the others.On the way out we passed a ‘mob’ of kangaroos. How typical of here that they should be called a mob! Why not a ‘cuddle’ or a ‘curtsey’? Actually one did look pretty aggressive, so perhaps ‘mob’ is appropriate after all.

Don't mess with me, mate!

I shall look forward to seeing a ‘killing’ of koalas and an ‘entropy’ of echidnas, a ‘pillage’ of platypuses and a ‘battering’ of budgies.We knew it was going to be a fantastic sunset so decided when we got back to head out to the rocks to view it but as we pulled up at Frogknot we were greeted by someone clearing their throat a little too loudly and out of the bushes stepped Dave who lives next door. He had heard the trailer clanking up the road and had come to chase, whoever it was, off. He was so pleased to see it was Will and gave him the biggest hug. He was followed by his wife, Jenny and little Nate. The mystery of why the area we cleared at the front of the house still looked so good was solved when Dave said he had been mowing it. He and Jenny were shocked to hear about the theft of the solar panel but he did say that he had heard people riding around on motorbikes and had warned them off. They invited us back to their house for a drink. We said we intended to watch the sunset at the rocks but they insisted we go so we did. We walked through the trees a short way to their block of land. They have a beautiful house and their view was just fantastic.Little Nate beckoned me into his bedroom to show me all his books. We ended up reading ‘Wombat Stew’ together while Will, Dave and Jenny caught up.It was so lovely to finally meet the neighbours and they were absolutely delighted that Will was back.